Every story has to have a hero and a villain. Have you ever wondered if you might be the villain of someone else’s story?
Years ago, I was having a problem moving past conflict with a colleague, “Ed.” I asked Ed to do something that he felt was unreasonable, but seemed completely reasonable to me. When I tried to discuss this with him, Ed told me, “I’ve told all my friends about you and they’re mad at you.”
My first thought (which I did not express aloud), was: “What are you talking about? I’m not the bad guy here.”
Then I took in what Ed said. The truth was, I had been complaining about Ed to my friends, too. I realized it would make total sense that I’d be the villain in his story.
And if someone from the outside was witnessing us, they could probably see how we were both right and wrong. It’s all a matter of perspective, and from Ed’s perspective, I could appreciate why he thought I was unreasonable.
Look back at the stories in your life when you saw yourself as a hero and someone else as the villain. Now reverse that, and imagine yourself as the villain. How does the story change when you’re the villain?
Here are other examples of questioning who the villain might be in a relationship:
- A narcissistic mother or ungrateful daughter?
- The spouse who is selfish or the spouse who plays martyr?
- Controlling boss or careless employee?
I’d love to hear from you. Please forward this message to anyone who has a lot of people in their life that they see as villains.
Best,
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