Giving constructive feedback is essential for helping others grow, learn, and improve — and it’s equally important for our own development. We want to show you how to give feedback that is specific, focused on behavior rather than the person, and invites a conversation.
Providing feedback can be challenging because we’re often concerned about how the other person will react or whether they might become defensive. That’s why we approach constructive feedback with curiosity – not with the goal of changing the person, but to better understand their actions and to help them understand our perspective.
At CuriosityBased, we use a conversation structure called CFA CAA, which stands for:
- Context: Describe the situation.
- Action: Explain what the person did.
- Feeling: Share how their actions made you feel.
- Ask: Pose questions to initiate a conversation and gain further understanding.
Here’s an example:
- Context: I was giving a presentation.
- Action: You were checking your phone the entire time.
- Feeling: I felt self-conscious and insecure, worried that my presentation wasn’t engaging enough.
- Ask: Did you realize you were checking your phone throughout? What did you think about my presentation? I know your mom is sick; were you checking in on her or waiting for an update?
The “Ask” in CFA CAA is about initiating a dialogue to understand the other person’s actions better. You can ask questions in various ways. For instance, asking, “Did you realize you were checking your phone?” checks for shared understanding of the action. Meanwhile, “I know your mom is sick; were you checking in on her?” shows empathy and opens the door for further discussion.
By giving specific constructive feedback with the goal of understanding, you make the process less intimidating and model how to give feedback with curiosity. You can also check out our video on How to Give Positive Feedback More Effectively.
I hope you find these tips useful! If so, please like and share it.
Leave a Reply