Practicing Curiosity: How to Ask Questions at Work Without Fear

I used to believe that leaders simply needed to understand how to model and encourage curiosity in the workplace. However, I have since discovered that many people struggle with practicing curiosity, especially when it comes to asking questions at work. I now recognize that organizational leaders must first understand what inhibits employees from asking questions before they can foster curiosity within their teams. It is the concerns and fears surrounding asking questions that prevent people from seeking clarification, such as asking, “What does that acronym mean?” “What do you mean by that?” or “Could you explain why we’re taking this approach?”

Based on insights shared by hundreds of workshop participants and audience members, I have identified eight common fears that people have when asking questions at work. For each fear, I offer a suggested way to frame the question to help you feel safe in asking

Understanding the Fear of Asking Questions at Work

1. “You weren’t paying attention/you didn’t do your prep work.” Fear of appearing inattentive or unprepared: People worry that their lack of knowledge implies they weren’t attentive or didn’t prepare adequately.
2. “You’re wasting time.” Fear of being perceived as a time-waster: People worry that asking questions about definitions or seeking clarification will slow down conversations or disrupt the flow of a meeting.
3. “You are incompetent.” Fear of appearing incompetent: People worry that revealing what they don’t know will erode others’ trust in their competency and ability to perform their job.
4. “Your manager hasn’t prepared you to do the work.” Fear of reflecting poorly on their manager or team members: People fear that acknowledging their lack of knowledge will reflect poorly on their manager or team members.
5. “You’re challenging me.” Fear of coming across as confrontational or aggressive: People fear that their questions will come across as confrontational or aggressive, particularly when directed at someone in a position of power.
6. “You’re bing passive – just say what you mean.” Fear of appearing passive: People fear that asking questions might make them appear passive. They believe others expect them to have an opinion, and phrasing that opinion as a question can be seen as indirect.
7. “You don’t know what you want.” Fear of being perceived as indecisive: People fear being perceived as indecisive when they ask questions.
8. “You’re asking too many questions again.” Fear of discouragement from past experiences: People may have faced discouragement from asking questions in the past, leading them to hesitate from asking further questions.

Strategies to Frame Your Questions Safely

For each fear, here are ways to frame your questions:

1. Fear of appearing inattentive or unprepared: “I apologize if this was addressed earlier and I missed it. Could you please clarify (insert question)?”
2. Fear of being perceived as a time-waster: “Could you please explain what (insert question) means? I want to ensure I fully understand the conversation.”
3. Fear of appearing incompetent: “I know I should probably know this, but I’m still not clear. Could you please explain (insert question)?”
4. Fear of reflecting poorly on their manager or team members: “My team and I had a productive conversation about this topic. I have a question I want to pose to this group. (Insert question).”
5. Fear of coming across as confrontational or aggressive: “I appreciate your perspective and want to understand your point more clearly. Please don’t take this question as a challenge. (Insert question).”
6. Fear of appearing passive: “I’m still processing this matter. Could you clarify (insert question)?”
7. Fear of being perceived as indecisive: “I still need more information to make a decision on this issue. Could you explain (insert question)?”
8. Fear of discouragement from past experiences: “I know I ask a lot of questions, so please let me know if you prefer to answer this at the end or if you’ll address it later. (Insert question).”

Which reasons prevent you from asking questions at work? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments section. If this post was helpful, please share it with a friend or post it on social media.

You can read the complete version of this article on my LinkedIn newsletter.