In this post, we will go in-depth on “Attention” as a form of respect. The 7 Forms of Respect® include procedure, punctuality, information, candor, consideration, acknowledgement and attention. Attention focuses on giving up distractions.
Showing Respect with Attention
Respect shows up in many different ways—and one of the most overlooked forms is Attention.
Attention is more than simply “listening.” It’s about being fully present with another person. In the 7 Forms of Respect® framework, Attention means giving someone your focus and energy, free of distractions.
How Attention Shows Up in Everyday Life
Imagine you’ve been invited to attend a special presentation. There are about a dozen people in the room. Just as the presentation is about to start, your boss asks you to read a report and share your reactions as soon as possible.
How do you respond?
- Ignore your boss’ message and pay full attention to the presentation:
You’re giving Attention to the speaker. - Tell your boss you aren’t available because you have another obligation:
You’re giving Candor to your boss and Attention to the speaker. - Discreetly read the report on your phone during the presentation:
You’re giving Procedure to your boss—at the expense of Attention to the speaker. - Tell others nearby you need to address an urgent work matter:
You’re giving Information to your peers and Procedure to your boss—but not Attention to the speaker.
This simple scenario shows how respect involves trade-offs. The ways we give and receive respect are not universal—they depend on context, preferences, and power dynamics.
What Giving Attention Looks Like
Examples of showing Attention as a form of respect:
- Listening attentively without distractions
- Referring back to others’ comments to show you were listening
- Not interrupting, except to ask clarifying questions
Lack of Attention can look like:
- Multitasking
- Interrupting to comment or redirect
- Allowing for distractions like checking your phone or email
How Attention Can Be Interpreted Differently
People value Attention differently based on personal experience, upbringing, and workplace culture.
Understanding why this form of respect matters to you—and to others—can strengthen communication and connection.
At CuriosityBased, we use the 7 Forms of Respect® (FoR) framework to create a shared language for these conversations. FoR helps people identify what respect looks like to them, and how to express those needs clearly in relationships and at work.
When you’re not receiving the form of respect you value, you can use this framework to explain why it matters and begin to rebuild understanding.
Scenario 1: Setting Expectations for Attention
Sue, a new leader at her company, notices that during group meetings everyone has laptops open and phones on the table.
The team is multitasking—and not giving Attention as a form of respect.
After a few meetings, Sue addresses it directly:
“I know Attention doesn’t matter to most of you, but it matters to me. I feel respected when I know you’re focused on what I’m saying. Earlier in my career, people often ignored my ideas because they weren’t paying attention. Once I started asking for Attention, people began to truly hear me.”
By sharing her story, Sue gives her team context for why Attention matters to her. Naming this form of respect helps others practice it more intentionally.
Scenario 2: Cultural Differences in Showing Attention
Rosa has a colleague, Ernie, who interrupts her constantly during conversations.
One day, she finally says:
“I need Attention as a form of respect, and you constantly interrupt me. I wish you would just listen.”
Ernie is surprised.
“In my culture, interrupting shows I’m engaged and interested. I didn’t mean to disrespect you—but I’ll try to wait until you’re finished.”
This exchange highlights that different cultures express respect differently.
By explaining what Attention means to her, Rosa helps Ernie understand her perspective and avoid misunderstanding.
Understanding Your Own Respect Preferences
Our preferences for certain Forms of Respect are rooted in past experiences. Sharing those stories builds empathy and connection.
When you find yourself in conflict, ask questions like:
- “What does respect look like to you?”
- “Who taught you to value that form of respect?”
- “How can we meet in the middle?”
These questions invite curiosity and help you find common ground—even when you show respect in different ways.
What’s Next
If you’re curious to learn more about how respect shows up in communication, explore related posts:
- How Candor Shows Up in Everyday Life
- How Punctuality Shows Up in Everyday Life
- How Procedure Shows Up in Everyday Life
- How to Talk About Your Own Forms of Respect®
Or take our 7 Forms of Respect® Quiz to discover your own respect preferences.
What’s Next
Check out Dr. Julie Pham’s book, 7 Forms of Respect: A Guide to Transforming Your Communication and Relationships at Work.
To learn more, visit our website. CuriosityBased is also available to host workshops for your team or company so you can improve communication, collaboration and trust.
