The 7 Forms of Respect (7 FoR).™ tool builds mutual trust and understanding by giving people a vocabulary to describe what matters to themselves and others. Respect is relative. What is important to one person might not be important to someone else.
In this post, we will be going in-depth on “Consideration” as a form of respect. The 7 forms include: procedure, punctuality, information, candor, consideration, acknowledgement and attention. Consideration focuses on anticipating someone’s needs and wants and acting accordingly.
How Consideration Shows Up as a Form of Respect
Understanding Consideration in Everyday Life
Imagine you’ve just returned to work after a long family leave. Adjusting to your new schedule feels overwhelming—you’re tired, stressed, and vocal about it with coworkers. Soon, you learn that one of your peers has been assigned to an exciting new project, but you weren’t asked to join.
Would you feel relieved that your boss recognized your stress and didn’t assign extra work? Or would you feel disappointed that you weren’t given the choice to decide for yourself?
If you prefer your boss to anticipate your needs and avoid adding pressure, you value Consideration as a form of respect. If you’d rather be asked regardless of circumstances, even if you’d likely decline, then Consideration might not be your preferred form of respect.
This scenario shows that how we want to give and receive respect isn’t universal. It depends on personal preferences and context.
What Consideration Looks Like
Consideration means anticipating what others want or need and interacting with them accordingly. Examples include:
- Surprising people with gifts you believe they’ll enjoy.
- Avoiding tasks or topics you think might make them uncomfortable.
- Refraining from asking for help when you assume they’re already busy.
When Consideration Is Lacking
Lack of Consideration shows up when you expect others to express their needs directly instead of anticipating them. For instance:
- Asking people what they want instead of surprising them.
- Requesting help even if you think they might decline.
- Bringing up personal topics because you assume they’ll say no if uncomfortable.
Both approaches can be rooted in respect—just expressed differently.
Why Consideration Matters
People value or reject Consideration for deeply personal reasons. These preferences often stem from family upbringing, cultural expectations, or workplace dynamics. Asking yourself why this form of respect matters helps you understand your own boundaries and those of others.
The 7 Forms of Respect® (FoR) framework provides a shared language to talk about these differences. When misunderstandings arise, FoR helps teams navigate conflict and clarify expectations.
Scenario 1: Surprises and Thoughtfulness
Susan leads employee engagement at her company. She loves surprising coworkers with thoughtful gifts, like tickets or small trinkets. Some team members appreciate her gestures, while others prefer to be asked first.
For Susan, Consideration means anticipating what will delight others. Her love of surprises stems from her childhood—her father often surprised her with gifts. However, one team member disliked surprises because his parents gave him unwanted gifts he had to get rid of.
Both people experienced similar childhoods but interpreted Consideration differently. Their reactions highlight how our past shapes our preferences.
Scenario 2: Fairness and Choice at Work
Casey works at a consulting firm that pays by billable hours. Her boss, Evie, gives extra projects to teammates with greater financial needs, assuming Casey—who is semi-retired—doesn’t want more work.
When Casey asks why, Evie explains she’s being considerate of others’ circumstances. However, Casey feels overlooked. She prefers being asked directly, even if she says no. Evie’s approach reflects her upbringing as the oldest child caring for others. Casey’s response stems from parents who made decisions for her.
Through their conversation, both women realize their preferences come from different experiences with responsibility and autonomy.
Building Empathy Through the 7 Forms of Respect®
Our preferences for different forms of respect—like Consideration—are rooted in our stories. Sharing those stories builds empathy and understanding. When working with others who don’t share your preferences, ask about their background and influences.
Consideration, at its core, means anticipating others’ needs and acting with care. Whether you value or resist it depends on your own experiences—and being curious about that difference is the first step toward mutual respect.
What’s Next
Check out Dr. Julie Pham’s book, 7 Forms of Respect: A Guide to Transforming Your Communication and Relationships at Work.
To learn more, visit our website. CuriosityBased is also available to hold workshops with your company or team about applying the 7 Forms of Respect to improve communication, collaboration and trust.
Is Consideration a form of respect for you?
Take the free quiz here.
