In honor of National Disability Employment Awareness Month, we updated our leadership book list and it now have 144 books, including memoirs, written by people who identify as having disabilities.

While researching this list, I discovered Unseen: How I Lost My Vision but Found My Voice by Molly Burke, a social media influencer, entrepreneur, and disabilities advocate. 

At age 4, Burke was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP), a condition that causes slow, progressive vision loss. Growing up, Burke was the cute poster child for a charity that conducted research for curing RP. She described herself as promoting “cure culture,” which aspires to fix people instead of celebrating them the way they are. By age 14, she realized that there was no cure for her and fell into despair. As an adult, she realized:

I was deeply entrenched in the medical model of disability…. It suggests that people with disabilities are broken, and that science and medicine can fix us. They want to heal us, to change us, so that we can fit into society better…. I now follow the social model. I no longer think that I am broken or not enough because of my blindness…My vision loss simply means I perceive the world differently from someone with 20/20 vision. 

Burke’s evolution of thinking of herself as someone needing to be cured, versus someone who is blind, made me ask this question: What is something I’ve been thinking I want to fix because it’s different from what is considered “normal”? 

My closest experience was in my teens and early 20s when I desperately wanted to be taller. I used to wear 4 inch platform heels, which made me 5’4”. While many people wear high heels because they like the look, I mostly wanted the height. High heels for me were a temporary fix, rather than the cure that I didn’t really need.  

What is something you used to do, or perhaps still do, to “fix” or “cure” something about yourself to make you feel “normal”? 

You can check out Burke’s memoir and other leadership books by authors with disabilities on our updated list from CuriosityBased. Huge thanks to Dr. Robin Nussbaum of We Do HR Solutions and Vanessa Laughlin of Banister Advisors for recommending many new titles to this list.

If you find this list valuable, please share it and spread the word. We put a lot of effort into these lists, and want the authors to get the recognition they deserve!

Here’s a sample message you can use when sharing this book list with your network:

Want to read leadership narratives written by Americans with disabilities? Check this out! (https://tinyurl.com/2026DisabilitiesBooks). #diverseleadershipauthors #DisabilityAwareness #NDEAM (National Disability Employment Awareness Month) #DisabilityPride #InclusionMatters #DisabilityRights #AccessibilityForAll #InclusionRevolution #DisabilityAdvocacy #DisabilityInclusion #BreakingBarriers #AccessIsLove

You can check out our other leadership book lists by those who identify as Hispanic/Latinx/Latino, Black, LGBTQIA+, AANHPI, Native American, and women. 

 Also, please send me any other recommendations you have for this list or any of our other lists.

Best, 

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I am guilty of often being in such a rush to get somewhere that I usually overlook a lot of things along the way. 

We, at CuriosityBased, had our annual team retreat last month. For our team-building activity, we wanted to do something low-key yet physical. In the past, we’ve done escape rooms, a cooking contest, a scavenger hunt. In contrast, this year, we walked extra slowly for two miles along a path familiar to all of us at varying degrees – Alki Beach in Seattle. 

Maia lived at Alki Beach from the beach in the mid 1990s, and the rest of us have visited there countless times. Maia pointed out the things that changed and what hadn’t, like the “Flowers Houses” nestled between two new condo buildings, famous for being decorated by brightly colored potted flowers. 

The walk turned out to be a 75 min exercise in noticing things we would normally miss in our haste, or because we’re distracted by our devices. We each pointed out things that were interesting to us – “Look at that house over there!” and, “Check out that tree!” and, “That’s an interesting…”

For the first time, I slowed down enough to register the significance of what is referred to as “the love locket fence,” where couples lock padlocks engraved with their initials to a fence and throw the key into the sea, symbolizing their forever love. I noticed how many padlocks there were, some even had special designs. 

Noticing what is around us requires intentionally making just a little more time than usual for curiosity and wonder. 

As you prepare to finish out the year, please try to set aside some time to slow down and notice your surroundings. 

I’d love to hear what you learned. 

Best, 

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Fall signals the start of winding down the year and the last chance to try to achieve what we set out to do. 

For many organizations, it means starting to plan for next year. But, before you can think ahead, whether it’s for your work or personal life, it can be very helpful to reflect on the  goals you set for yourself last year.

It sounds simple. But, because focusing on what’s new is so much more exciting, many of our organizational clients resist this important step. Also, looking at the past can mean admitting we didn’t fulfill our intentions. 

Last month, the CuriosityBased team held our annual two-day planning retreat. Because we took the time to review our original goals for the current year, we were able to celebrate how many things we tried wholeheartedly, but decided to stop doing for one reason or another. We also realized that there were a few projects that we never got to.

When we work with our clients, we often document their sessions and are able to pull up their old records to remind them of the commitments they had forgotten after just six or twelve months.

For the rest of us, the personal, non-work version of this reflection might be reading your journals. If you have nothing written anywhere, try asking someone close to you, “Do you remember what I said was important to me last year?”

Let me know what you discover when you revisit the past.

Best, 

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I was a bit surprised to learn that the most viewed video on CuriosityBased’s YouTube channel is: “Proven strategies to stop gossip at work.” 

Then, I realized it made sense because gossip has been coming up a lot in our team building work with organizations. I used to focus on how to stop it.  But in recent client engagements, I’ve realized the need to first get curious about what causes gossip and what clues it can tell us about other challenges in that workplace.

If you see gossip happening, ask: 

• Is gossip a coping mechanism for frustrations around unresolved issues? Maybe people have tried using the formal feedback channels to express their concerns, and nothing has been addressed.
• Is there a lack of clarity that leads people to gossip with each other to try to understand why things are the way they are? Maybe people lack information they feel is necessary to function in their jobs, so they come up with their own explanations. 
• Are there structural issues that cause people to gossip? Sometimes an organization’s own policy creates conditions where gossip thrives.
• Are some leaders modeling gossip themselves? Sometimes people think it’s acceptable to gossip because they see examples of it happening with leadership.

In other words, is your organization inadvertently encouraging gossip? Gossip is usually a symptom. Instead of just blaming gossip on a few individuals’ inappropriate and unprofessional behavior, ask yourself these questions to help diagnose the root cause of the gossip. 

Have you ever experienced gossip in your workplace? I’d love to hear what you think caused it. 

Best, 

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In honor of National Hispanic Heritage month, we updated our list of leadership books (including memoirs) written by those who identify as Americans of Hispanic/Latino/Latinx heritage. It now includes 181 titles. 

In honor of National Hispanic Heritage month, we updated our list of leadership books (including memoirs) written by those who identify as Americans of Hispanic/Latino/Latinx heritage. It now includes 182 titles.

I read Christopher Rivas’sBrown Enough: True Stories About Love, Violence, the Student Loan Crisis, Hollywood, Race, Familia, and Making It in America. Rivas is an actor, author, and podcaster who describes himself as “Brown man, a Dominican, Colombian Afro-Latino,” born and raised in New York. The book is part memoir and part social commentary.

Rivas opens the book by recounting a pivotal interaction with renowned race relations scholar Ta-Nehisi Coates. When Rivas asked Coates where his Brown identity lived in conversations on race, Coates replied that Brown was “not in it.” 

It took Rivas a long time to realize Coates was stating a fact of “what is,” not his opinion of, “what should be.” Rivas then understood, “My Brown identity was and often is not pertinent to this conversation in which whiteness and Blackness are seen as polar opposites….” The book retraces Rivas’ subsequent exploration of what Brownness means to him a Black and white world. 

Much of Rivas’ understanding of Browness is rooted in growing up in a multiethnic, 164-unit housing complex where his father worked as the superintendent for decades. He wrote:

That melting pot of a building in Queens was the foundation for….How very different people, from very different backgrounds can love each other, and take care of one another. And that difference is in essence, Brownness….Brownness honors unique identities rooted in race and ethnicity rather than whiteness that embraces assimilation and marginalizes any deviance from a sinisterly crafted default ideal.

To Rivas, Brownness does not exclude white people who celebrated their own culture, as his Russian and Jewish neighbors did. In contrast, whiteness represents monolithism.

Anyone who doesn’t feel like their racial experiences can be easily explained through a Black and white lens should check out Brown Enough. Rivas’ own personal stories will prompt you to get more curious about yourself and others. Whether you agree with Rivas’ opinions on issues like interracial relationships, plastic surgery, and cultural assimilation, you can’t help but reflect on your own beliefs. 

You can check out Rivas’ memoir and others on our updated list. Big thanks to Hady Méndez, author of Calladita No More: My Latina Journey and the Lessons that Shaped Me, for adding so many new titles to this year’s list.

Since we work really hard on these lists, we hope these authors will get the attention they deserve. If you think this list is valuable, please help spread the word by sharing it.

Here’s a sample text you can use when sending this booklist out to your network:

“Want to read leadership narratives written by Hispanic/Latino/Latinx Americans? Check this out! (https://tinyurl.com/2026LatinoLeadershipBooks). #diverseleadershipauthors #latinxleadershipauthors #latinoleadershipauthors #latinaleadershipauthors #hispanicleadershipauthors #latinxandhispanicheritagemonth #expandwhoweread #enrichhowwelead”

You can check out our other leadership book lists by authors who identify as Black, LGBTQIA+, AANHPI, Native American, women, and those who identify as having disabilities. We are always adding to these lists, so please send more recommendations our way.

Best, 

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September 18 marks National Respect Day, so I thought I’d share my most current thinking on respect.

When I first started my research on what would become the 7 Forms of Respect®  framework, I asked people what respect looked like to them. Many cited the “Golden Rule: Treat people the way you would want to be treated.” Then I would ask, “What if someone doesn’t want to be treated the way you want to be treated?” The Golden Rule doesn’t always apply.

That’s why I came up with the “Rubber Band Rule” of respect, which reflects how we all intuitively stretch for others because we want to show people respect in the ways that matter to them. Sometimes we stretch so much to accommodate others that we end up snapping and breaking. The Rubber Band Rule is about learning what our breaking points are so that we don’t let ourselves constantly snap as we try to respect others. While the Rubber Band Rule can help us identify our boundaries, the rule reminds us to be aware that respect is dynamic and stretchy.

Here’s the thing: Stretching is good for us. I don’t want to live in a world where no one stretches. Since we all define respect differently, mutual respect requires our willingness to stretch.

Nowadays, there’s so much talk about setting our own boundaries because we’re tired of accommodating others, that we can take for granted how much other people actually stretch for us. 

I experienced that myself recently. Here’s what happened: I had arranged to take my friend, “Pete,” who was visiting Seattle, on a special outing hosted by an acquaintance of mine, “Leslie.” Less than 36 hours before we were scheduled to meet, Pete asked me if I could reschedule with Leslie to later that week. He said, “I can go at the original time, but I will be very tired from working late the night before.” 

At first, I felt my time and effort was disrespected. I hate changing plans with such short notice and felt like I would potentially hurt my relationship with an acquaintance who was doing me a favor. So, I was going to ask Pete to stick to the original plan. But then I realized he was revealing how he needed to prioritize rest. So, I told Pete I didn’t want to impose more on Leslie by asking her to reschedule, so I would apologize on his behalf and cancel. I also said I’d appreciate more notice from him in the future when asking to change our plans.

I could tell Pete was relieved. He apologized profusely the next day. That’s when I recognized how much Pete didn’t want to disappoint me. He had put off asking me to reschedule until he had to be honest with himself about how exhausted he’d be if he tried to stick to the original plan. I’m glad Pete spoke his truth.

Pete and I were in a tough situation where there was no perfect solution to make everyone happy. We were honest about our breaking points. Respect is tested everyday just like this in these seemingly small, unanticipated conflicts.  

When you think about respect, don’t just think about how much you personally stretch. Think about how others might be stretching to show you respect, while also trying to not snap and break themselves.

Respect isn’t always simple and straightforward. The Rubber Band Rule of respect recognizes life’s many unpredictable variables. When did you experience someone not showing you respect in the way you wanted, and then you realized how much they were actually stretching for you? 

I’d love to hear from you. 

Best, 

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During times when so much feels out of our control, reminding ourselves what we can

control is more important than ever. That’s why I really appreciate Aiko Bethea’s new book on self-leadership, Anchored, Aligned, Accountable: A Framework for Transcending Bullsh*t and Transforming Our Lives and Work. It’s packed with self-reflection frameworks to help us stay accountable to ourselves. 

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Hello CB newsletter subscribers. I’m Maia Segura, marketing manager at CuriosityBased. Julie invited me to write this week’s newsletter to share the behind-the-scenes thinking for our recently updated website

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Have you ever been part of a long conversation with a group of people that was so good that, by the end, you felt like you had created new meaning together, and that everyone felt seen and heard?  

In my experience, such conversations are difficult to achieve without having an assigned facilitator. That’s why I believe for lengthy group discussions, someone should assume the facilitator role to invite everyone to contribute and to identify and summarize themes. 

Understanding what needs to happen to create good self-facilitated conversations eluded me. 

That is, until I recently discovered long-form improv at Lumora, a nonprofit  theater space founded by my friend Heath Hollensbee. 

“Improv” is short for improvisation and it refers to an unscripted style of theater. Because there is no director, or designated facilitator, I liken it to a self-facilitated conversation. Many people are more familiar with short form improv, in which 2 to 5 min scenes are created based on audience prompts. Actors listen just enough to deliver quick punchy jokes. 

In long form improv, an ensemble of actors gets their prompt from a single source at the beginning of a 20 to 45 min set.  During the set, a few actors at a time take turns at center stage 

to perform scenes that are developed in real time. 

Over the course of time, all of the actors listen carefully for what is said and not said, even when it isn’t their turn to act. This allows them to reference earlier scenes in a way that contributes to the overall story. At Lumora, I got to watch and compare two different long form improv ensembles. The first group was good. The second was great. I got the impression the second ensemble listened to each other better. As a result, their scenes felt more connected and the overall story, by the end of the set, was more cohesive. 

Back to how this relates to lengthy self-facilitated group conversations. I realized the reason so many of these conversations fall flat is that people don’t listen to each other deeply. They are too busy thinking about what they want to say. While having a conversation facilitator can improve the chances of a good conversation, long form improv has convinced me it’s deep listening, intense curiosity, and active reflection by everyone involved that can transform a conversation into something memorable and unique. 

For your next group conversation, pay special attention to how much people are listening and reflecting on what others are saying, instead of just focusing on what they will say when it’s their turn to speak.

I’d love to hear what you notice. And please consider sharing this email with anyone who wants to have more effective group discussions. 

Best, 

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On June 18, I got to participate in an attempt to break a Guinness World Record for the most number of people gathered to eat dim sum. We succeeded, and set a new record with 830 eaters, beating the one set by Australia in 2019, by 66 people.

What started as a free marketing tool used in pubs for Guinness beers in 1955, has become the primary source for verifying records of individual and institutional achievements.  As a child, I grew up reading the Guinness Book of World Records.  We had the book at home and I would look through the grainy black and white photos of oddities like the person with “the most limbs” and “the longest fingernails” with awe. It wasn’t until I participated in this record breaking attempt, that I heard so many other people claiming the same childhood experience. This is a company that has learned how to evolve and reinvent itself.  It’s a testament to the Guinness World Records brand.

Nowadays, Guinness World Records makes the bulk of their money from aspiring record breakers who pay sizable fees to organize events for publicity. What the organizers of this dim sum event, Seattle’s Chinatown International District Business Improvement Area, paid to Guinness seems nominal compared to all the media coverage and word-of-mouth buzz the event drew. Within a week of registration opening, 1000 people registered for the event and an additional 700 opted to waitlist. 

Some criticize Guinness for making money by leveraging its brand this way. I see it as an example of a company being inventive when its book sale revenue, its primary source, dried up. Reinvention takes a lot of curiosity. I understand this personally because my family publishes a Vietnamese newspaper. We, along with many other small print newspapers, are in major decline because we haven’t been able to reinvent ourselves. 

Moreover, Guinness is meeting a genuine need for event-based marketing that engages real people. I am extremely proud to claim I helped break a world record and that I, and the 829 other participants, were in this together.

By finding ways to stay relevant, Guinness World Records has been able to stay in business, despite technology changes, while staying true to who they are at their core. 

What stories of reinvention at the institutional or individual level have you heard of? 

Please consider sharing this email with anyone who could benefit from a reinvention story.

Best,

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Summer means outdoor gatherings, sometimes with many people who don’t know each other. Whether you’re hosting or attending such a party, I have a tool to reduce awkwardness among guests: name tags. 

I first learned this from organizing formal networking events where name tags are essential to helping people keep track of everyone they meet. I also use them in my workshops for my clients. I bring tags so I can address participants by their name.

While some people like printed out name tags with pins or magnetic backings, I prefer the simple blank sticker so people can hand write their own name (and whatever other details they want to share). Sticker tags adhere to any surface. They’re also inexpensive and easy. As a  result, I always have blank sticker name tags and Sharpie pens on hand.

After seeing the benefits of name tags for work events, I started providing them for my personal social gatherings and my guests really appreciate them.  

While some think name tags feel “too formal,”  I consider them to be an accessibility aid to support those who have less than perfect memory or hearing. For those with difficult to pronounce names, they can even write the phonetic version of their name.

I even bring my own name tag to social gatherings with unfamiliar groups. The most common response when other guests see my name tag is, “Hey, where are the name tags?” Then I tell them I brought my own. If my partner accompanies me as my guest, I bring one for him, too. To help others place him, he usually writes underneath his name, “I’m with Julie”. 

During some events, I’ve had distant acquaintances come up to me and call me by my name.  I’m sure they wouldn’t have been confident in remembering who I am if not for my name tag. One person I met at a mutual friend’s birthday party found me on LinkedIn afterwards and messaged me to say, “I’ve been telling people about your name tag.” 

This past summer, I’ve been invited to birthday parties where I don’t know many of the other guests. I started offering to the host to bring blank sticker name tags for the other guests. The hosts love it because it makes it easier for guests to introduce themselves to each other, lightening the host’s load.  

Social gatherings with strangers can be awkward. Name tags are my trick. What tips do you have to make socializing easier? 

Please consider sharing this email with anyone you know who wants to make socializing easier for themselves or for their guests. 

Best, 

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The word “vacation” often evokes images of exotic, or at least faraway, places. Last month, my partner and I decided to travel to a nearby regional city for our annual summer vacation. 

Even though Tacoma is only 35 miles south of where I live in Seattle, it feels quite different. I love its low-key, chill vibe. It has a quarter of Seattle’s population, half its density, and 70 percent of its median household income.

To experience local living, we rented an AirBnB in a residential neighborhood instead of staying downtown. We visited the city’s history and art museums, parks, and waterfront for the first time. Just as I would when I travel to places a lot farther away, I paid special attention to what looks different from home. 

• There were a lot fewer people walking on the streets. 
• I didn’t see any homeless encampments, open drug use, or black markets anywhere – not even downtown or near freeway entrances.
• The cars people drove are generally much older, gasoline models, rather than electric powered vehicles.
• There were more families with young children. 
• There were fewer people of Asian heritage

Here are my two big takeaways: 1) I don’t have to travel far to experience cultural differences, and 2) what I notice says a lot about what I consider to be normal: busy streets; homelessness and open drug use; newer, electric vehicles (Seattle has the third most Tesla owners in the US); more dogs than young children; and a 20% Asian population. 

Practicing curiosity can make any destination feel more exotic. As summer winds down, you may consider “vacationing” nearby. If you do, please share what you notice and what it reveals about what you consider normal. I’d love to hear from you. 

Also, please consider sharing this email with anyone you know who is about to travel near or far. 

Best,

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