How to Be Proactive at Work

Being proactive is more than just taking the initiative. It reflects a deep-rooted care for your work, your teammates, and the overarching success of your organization. Especially for individuals new to a team or the workforce, sh14 Actionable Tips to Be More Proactive at Work and Boost Your Career

Being proactive isn’t just about taking the initiative—it’s about demonstrating a deep care for your work, teammates, and the overall success of your organization. For those new to a team or the workforce, adopting a proactive attitude is a gateway to growth and career stability. However, it’s equally important for seasoned employees, especially during times of organizational shifts or potential layoffs. Being perceived as a proactive asset can significantly enhance job security and make you an invaluable member of your team.

If you’re on a performance improvement plan, these tips can help shift perceptions and show your commitment to enhancing productivity and collaboration. By embodying proactivity, you demonstrate your genuine care for your work and your desire to contribute to your organization’s success.

Here are 14 actionable tips to help you be more proactive at work:

1. Prepare for Your Meetings

Thoroughly review pre-reads, previous meeting notes, and the agenda. This shows that you’re prepared and ready to contribute, earning the respect of the meeting organizer and making you a valuable participant.

2. Volunteer as the Note-Taker

Taking notes isn’t just a task; it’s an opportunity to show attentiveness. By volunteering, you demonstrate care and attention to detail, becoming a resource for your team.

3. Ask Clarifying Questions

By asking insightful questions, you show attentiveness and help improve clarity for everyone in the meeting. This fosters a productive, collaborative environment where everyone is on the same page.

4. Confirm Understanding

After key points are made, paraphrase them and seek confirmation. This ensures that there are no misunderstandings and shows your commitment to ensuring clarity for yourself and others.

5. Get to Know Your Team

Building strong professional relationships is essential. Take time to learn your team’s preferences, priorities, and challenges. This will help you collaborate better and foster a supportive work environment.

6. Shadow Another Team

Expand your understanding of the organization by shadowing other teams. This broadens your perspective, fosters cross-functional knowledge, and helps you contribute to the organization’s overall success.

7. Network Across Departments

Especially during organizational changes, networking across departments is crucial. Cultivating relationships across teams ensures you have advocates and collaborators throughout the company.

8. Reschedule Canceled Meetings

When a meeting gets canceled, take the initiative to reschedule. This shows that regular interactions matter to you and that you’re committed to staying engaged and visible.

9. Offer Solutions, Not Just Problems

Instead of simply pointing out issues, focus on proposing solutions. Being a problem-solver makes you more valuable to your team and demonstrates a proactive mindset.

10. Do Additional Research

Show your interest in your work by conducting research on topics relevant to your role or your manager’s interests. Sharing your findings demonstrates initiative and a willingness to go above and beyond.

11. Mention Your Work

Keep people updated on your projects, especially when you accomplish something significant. Regularly sharing your progress ensures your hard work is recognized.

12. Show Your Ambition

Align your daily tasks with your long-term career goals. Demonstrating how your work ties into your career growth shows that you’re committed to the future and continuously striving for success.

13. Take Charge of Your Learning

Show initiative by suggesting books, courses, or learning opportunities to your manager. This demonstrates a keen interest in developing your skills and growing professionally.

14. Advocate for Yourself

Constructively express concerns and offer potential solutions. Advocating for yourself in a positive, solution-oriented way shows maturity, initiative, and a commitment to making the workplace better for everyone.

For a more detailed exploration of these strategies, watch our informative video and check out some of our other resources.

Watch the Video Explainer

Managing Up: Smart Questions to Ask Your New Boss

StartingManaging Up: Essential Questions to Ask Your New Boss

Starting a new job or working under a new manager can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. One of the best ways to ease into your new role and build a strong relationship with your boss is by asking the right questions. In this blog post, I’ll guide you through managing up by suggesting key questions to ask your new boss. These questions aren’t just random—they are strategic tools designed to help you understand your manager’s expectations, align your goals, and foster effective communication.

Basic Get-to-Know-You Questions

Let’s start with the basics. These questions help you understand your manager’s communication style and expectations. Here’s why they matter:

1. How long have you been with the company?

Why ask: Knowing your boss’s tenure gives you insights into their experience and understanding of the company culture. This helps you understand their perspective and how they might approach challenges.

2. What do you like most about your job?

Why ask: Understanding what motivates your manager will help you align your contributions with what drives them. This insight can help you better support their goals.

3. What do you find most challenging about your job?

Why ask: Knowing what challenges your boss faces provides an opportunity for you to become a problem-solver on your team. It shows initiative and a willingness to help.

4. What are the main responsibilities of our team?

Why ask: This question sets the stage for understanding what is expected from the team as a whole, ensuring you align your work with team goals.

5. What are my main responsibilities on our team?

Why ask: Clarifying your role helps you focus on what truly matters, ensuring you’re aligned with your manager’s expectations.

6. How do you see me supporting our team’s objectives?

Why ask: This question ensures your actions align with your manager’s goals. It shows initiative and a commitment to contributing to team success.

Going Deeper: Questions for Alignment

Once you’ve established the basics, it’s time to dig deeper. These questions help you understand your manager’s goals, values, and priorities:

7. How have past career experiences influenced what you do today?

Why ask: Understanding how your manager’s career experiences shape their decision-making provides valuable context for how they approach their role and guide the team.

8. What do you value most (personally and professionally)?

Why ask: Knowing what your manager values can help guide your actions and decisions, ensuring you contribute in a way that aligns with their priorities.

9. What are you ultimately trying to accomplish at this organization?

Why ask: This question helps you align your goals with your manager’s long-term vision for the organization. It gives you clarity on how your role fits into the bigger picture.

10. How can I support your vision?

Why ask: This shows your willingness to be a team player and contribute to shared goals. It also positions you as someone eager to help your manager succeed.

Conclusion: Building a Strong Relationship Through Effective Communication

Asking the right questions isn’t just about gathering information; it’s about building a strong relationship with your new boss. By asking thoughtful questions, you show initiative, curiosity, and a genuine desire to align with your manager’s expectations and the organization’s objectives. The more you understand your manager’s values and goals, the more effectively you can contribute to team success and grow in your role.

Watch the Video Explainer

Mastering Workplace Communication with Effective Verbal Skills

The Four Pillars of Effective Verbal Communication

Over the years, I’ve seen that the foundation of every strong professional relationship is effective verbal communication. It is, in fact, one of the three essential elements of practicing curiosity: self-awareness, relationship-building, and clear communication. Because misunderstandings in the workplace happen frequently—and can be costly both in resources and relationships—it is critical to communicate with clarity and purpose.

That’s why I want to share a structured approach that has been a game-changer in my professional journey: The Four Pillars of Effective Communication.

Why a Structure Matters

When you need to raise a difficult topic at work, the natural impulse is to over-explain. Many people give long introductions, adding multiple layers of context, and end up burying their main point. By contrast, a simple four-step framework keeps your message focused, concise, and impactful.

The Four Pillars of Effective Communication

  1. The Point: Begin with your main idea or question. This is the heart of your message. Aim to state it in fewer than 10 words.
  2. Context: Next, set the stage by reminding your listener of the background or your role in the issue.
  3. Significance: Then, explain why you’re raising the issue now. Highlight its urgency or importance.
  4. Possible Consequence: Finally, outline what might happen if the issue is not addressed. Showing consequences clarifies the stakes and encourages action.

Applying the Pillars in Real-World Scenarios

  • Team Priorities
    • The Point: I need clarity on our team’s priorities.
    • Context: I’m shaping our project plan around them.
    • Significance: A clear plan prevents confusion.
    • Possible Consequence: Ambiguity will hurt productivity.
  • Project Timelines
    • The Point: I think we should request an extension.
    • Context: Delays from another team pushed back our schedule.
    • Significance: Our client expects quality results.
    • Possible Consequence: Rushing may compromise quality.
  • Resource Allocation
    • The Point: We need additional support for this project.
    • Context: Right now, I’m the only contributor.
    • Significance: Timely delivery is critical to our client.
    • Possible Consequence: Missing the deadline could damage trust.

Effective verbal communication is both an art and a science. By practicing this four-pillar strategy, you’ll deliver messages that are clear, actionable, and respected. In professional relationships, where curiosity and clarity matter most, every conversation is an opportunity to build trust and drive results.

Mastering Effective Verbal Communication at Work

Effective communication is a part of practicing curiosity, which consists of three essential elements: self-awareness, relationship building, and clear communication. It’s important to understand that before we can genuinely resonate with others with our communication, we have to first align with our own thoughts and objectives.

To guide this alignment, I’ll introduce five logical structures. Each structure serves a unique purpose in communication, and requires you to really think about the core message you aim to convey. Recognizing the essence of your message allows you to use the most fitting structure for clarity. To illustrate these structures, I will use a scenario involving a fictional software company facing challenges with its product offerings.

1. Cause and Effect

Effective communication starts with understanding the cause and its subsequent effects. It’s about tracing back to the root of an issue and comprehending its implications.

Logical StructureQuestion AddressedExampleSoftware Company Scenario
Cause and EffectWhat’s the root cause, and what are its consequences?A neglected core software product leads to unrealized revenue potential.The company hasn’t maximized the profit of its core software product.

2. Steps in a Sequence

Every situation has a backstory. By breaking down events step by step, we can gain a clearer understanding of how a situation unfolded.

Logical StructureQuestion AddressedExampleSoftware Company Scenario
Steps in a SequenceWhat events led to the current situation?Sales desires more software features; engineering cites resource constraints; a less profitable product is identified; resources are reallocated.Sales team wants enhanced features; engineering team flags resource limitations; focus shifts from a low-profit product.

3. Problem-Solution-Benefit

Every challenge presents an opportunity. By identifying problems and crafting solutions, we can unlock potential benefits.

Logical StructureQuestion AddressedExampleSoftware Company Scenario
Problem-Solution-BenefitWhat’s the challenge, the solution, and the resulting benefits?Customers seek more software features; an underperforming product is discontinued to free up resources; this leads to enhanced customer retention and increased profits.Addressing customer demands by reallocating resources, leading to higher customer retention and profitability.

4. Short Term vs. Long Term

Immediate actions have both present and future implications. It’s essential to weigh the short-term impacts against the long-term outcomes.

Logical StructureQuestion AddressedExampleSoftware Company Scenario
Short Term vs. Long TermWhat are the immediate implications and the future outcomes?An engineer’s initial productivity dip during transition, followed by a projected 40% profitability boost within a year.Initial productivity challenges offset by a long-term rise in profitability.

5. Costs and Rewards

Every decision has its price. By evaluating potential investments against expected returns, we can make informed choices.

Logical StructureQuestion AddressedExampleSoftware Company Scenario
Costs and RewardsWhat are the potential investments and the expected returns?An engineer’s learning curve with the core product, offset by the potential for maximized company profits.Investment in training yields potential for significant profit increase.

As you can see with each of these different logic structures, they each have their own function. That’s why understanding what you’re trying to convey is paramount. These logical structures serve as tools to help you communicate effectively by articulating your thoughts with precision. As you move forward, consider employing these structures in your daily communications, be it in professional settings or personal interactions. They can guide you in presenting information clearly, ensuring your message is both understood and impactful. Clarity in communication is a skill, and with the right tools and practice, it can be mastered.

120+ Leadership Books Written by Hispanic/Latino/Latinx Authors

2023-HispanicLatinoLatinx-Leadership-Books-V1Download

We created this list to promote leadership narratives written by the Hispanic/Latino/Latinx community. This list is meant to be a resource, not an official endorsement. The books are not ranked or listed in any particular order.

Check out our other leadership book lists by authors who identify as LGBTQIA+, AANHPI, Native American, women, and those who identify as having disabilities.

  1. Me by Ricky Martin
  2. And A Voice to Sing With: A Memoir by Joan Baez
  3. The Gloria Anzaldúa Reader (Latin America Otherwise) by Gloria Anzaldúa
  4. Borderlands / La Frontera: The New Mestiza by Gloria Anzaldúa
  5. Almost a Woman by Esmeralda Santiago
  6. In the Time of the Butterflies by Julie Alvarez
  7. Farmworker’s Daughter: Growing up Mexican American by Rose Castillo Guilbault
  8. The Power of Latino Leadership: Culture, Inclusion, and Contribution by Juana Bordas
  9. When I was Puerto Rican by Esmeralda Santiago
  10. Salsa, Soul, and Spirit: Leadership for a Multicultural Age by Juana Bordas
  11. Autentíco: The definitive guide to Latino Career Success by Robert Rodriguez
  12. Brown Church: Five Centuries of Latina/o Social Justice, Theology, and Identity by Robert Chao Romero
  13. Hermanas: Deepening Our Identity and Growing Our Influence by Natalia Kohn Rivera
  14. Isabel’s Hand-Me-Down Dreams by Isabel Lopez
  15. Leaving Little Havana: A Memoir of Miami’s Cuban Ghetto by Cecilia M. Fernandez
  16. Gmorning, Gnight!: Little Pep Talks for Me & You by Lin-Manuel Miranda
  17. [Un]framing the “Bad Woman”:Sor Juana, Malinche, Coylxauhqui, and other rebels with a cause by Alicia Gaspar de Alba
  18. Always Running: La Vida Loca – Gang Days in L.A. by Luis J. Rodriguez
  19. Cruz: A Cross-Border Memoir by Jean Guerrero
  20. Dear America: Notes of an Undocumented Citizen by Jose Antonio Vargas
  21. Undocumented: A Dominican Boy’s Odyssey from a Homeless Shelter to the Ivy League by Dan-el Padilla Peralta
  22. The Far Away Brothers: Two Young Migrants and the Making of an American Life by Lauren Markham
  23. My Beloved World by Sonia Sotomayor
  24. Latina Empowerment Through Leadership: Mindful Stories from Inspiring Women by Catherine Munos Garces, Monica Rivera, et al
  25. An Organizer’s Tale by Cesar Chavez
  26. My Time to Speak: Reclaiming Ancestry and Confronting Race by Ilia Calederon
  27. Rita Moreno: A Memoir by Rita Moreno
  28. American Poison: How Racial Hostility Destroyed Our Promise by Eduardo Porter
  29. My (Underground) American Dream: My True Story as an Undocumented Immigrant Who Became a Wall Street Executive by Julissa Arce
  30. The Virtuous Circle: Restore Your Confidence, Bounce Back, and Emerge Stronger by Gaby Natale
  31. Self Made: Become Empowered, Self Reliant and Rich in Every Way by Nely Galán
  32. Latino Leaders Speak: Personal Stories of Struggle and Triumph edited by Micky Ibarra and Maria Pérez-Brown
  33. Leapfrog: The New Revolution for Women Entrepreneurs by Nathalie Molina Niño
  34. The Soul of a Woman by Isabel Allende
  35. In the Dream House: A Memoir by Carmen Maria Machado
  36. Once I was You: A Memoir of Love and Hate in a Torn America by María Hinojosa
  37. More than Ready: Be Strong and Be You…and Other Lessons for Women of Color on the Rise by Cecilia Muñoz
  38. Perfectly You: Embracing the Power of Being Real by Mariana Atencio
  39. Take Charge of Your Brand: Quick and Simple Techniques to Help You Own and Manage Your Personal Brand for Professional and Personal Success by Guisselle Nuñez
  40. In the Country We Love: My Family Divided by Diane Guerrero
  41. Frida by Barbara Mujica
  42. Finding Latinx: In Search of the Voices Redefining Latino Identity by Paolo Ramos
  43. The Undocumented Americans by Karla Conejo Villavicenci
  44. AOC: The Fearless Rise and Powerful Resonance of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortes by Lynda Lopez
  45. Latinx: The New Force in American Politics by Ed Morales
  46. Mexican Enough: My Life Between the Borderlines by Stephanie Elizondo Griest
  47. Being Brown: Sonia Sotomayer and the Latino Question by Lázaro Lima
  48. An Unlikely Journey: Waking up from My American Dream by Julián Castro
  49. Hispanic Women Seeking Higher Leadership Roles in Business by Sylvia C. Motta, PhD
  50. Wild Tongues Can’t be Tamed: 15 Voices from the Latinx Diaspora edited by Saraciea J. Fennell
  51. The Leadership Shift: The Strategic Positioning of Latino Business Leaders by Dr. Nilda Perez
  52. ¡Rise up, Mi Gente! A Roadmap for Latinos to Achieve Success in Corporate America by Jesse A Mejia
  53. Inventing Latinos: A New Story of American Racism by Laura E. Gómez
  54. The 5 Disciplines of Inclusive Leaders: Unleashing the Power of Us All coauthored by Andrés Tapia
  55. When We Make It by Elisabeth Velasquez
  56. I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika L. Sanchéz
  57. Latino Talent: Effective Strategies to Recruit, Retain, and Develop Hispanic Professionals by Robert Rodriguez
  58. Silencing Gender, Age, Ethnicity, and Cultural Biases in Leadership by Camilla A. Montoya, Julieta V. García. et al.
  59. Inclusion Revolution: The Essential Guide to Dismantling Racial Inequity in the Workplace by Daisy Auger-Dominguez
  60. Latinas Rising Up in HR: Inspirational Stories of Human Resources Professional Leading, Thriving, and Breaking Barriers by Priscilla Guasso
  61. The Secret Principles of Genius: The Key to Unlocking Your Hidden Genius Potential by I.C. Robledo
  62. I Got This: To Gold and Beyond by Lauren Hernandez
  63. The Engine of America: The Secrets to Small Business Success from Entrepreneurs Who Have Made It by Jane Delgado
  64. The Latina Guide to Health: Consejos and Caring Answers by Jane Delgado
  65. Field Mice: Memoirs of a Migrant Child by Emma Gonzalez
  66. Los Amos del Mundo Están al Acecho by Cristina Martin Jimenez
  67. Growing American Roots by Bob Menendez
  68. Dream in Color: How the Sánchez Sisters are Making History in Congress by Linda Sánchez
  69. Healing Journey: Surviving Domestic Violence by Lupe Valdez
  70. La Nueva California: Latinos from Pioneers to Post-Millennials by David Hayes-Bautista
  71. El Cinco de Mayo: An American Tradition by David Hayes-Bautista
  72. Latinas in Aviation by Jacqueline S. Ruiz
  73. Becoming Dr. Q: My Journey from a Migrant Farm Worker to brain Surgeon by Alfredo Quinones-Hinjosa
  74. The Universal Tone: Bringing My Story to Light by Carlos Santana
  75. Take a Stand: Lessons from Rebels by Jorge Ramos
  76. The Injustice Never Leaves You: Anti-Mexican Violence in Texas by Monica Muñoz Martinez
  77. Powerhouse Principles: The Ultimate Blueprint for Real Estate Success in an Ever-Changing Market by Jorge Perez
  78. The Buena Salud Guide to Understanding Depression and Enjoying Life by Jane Delgado
  79. Leadership Lessons of the White House Fellows: Learn How to Inspire Others, Achieve Greatness , and Find Success in Any Organization by Charles P. Garcia
  80. Persevere with Power: What Heaven Starts, Hell Cannot Stop by Samuel Rodriguez
  81. In Defense of Our America: The Fight for Civil Liberties in the Age of Terror by Anthony D. Romero
  82. One Vote Away: How a Single Supreme Court Seat Can Change History by Ted Cruz
  83. Still Dreaming: My Journey from the Barrio to Capitol Hill by Luis Gutiérrez
  84. An American Son: A Memoir by Marco Rubio
  85. The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio
  86. A House of My Own: Stories from My Life by Sandra Cisneros
  87. Spirit Run: A 6000 Mile Marathon Through America’s Stolen Land by Noe Alvarez
  88. Dirty Girls Social Club by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez
  89. Woven in Moonlight by Isabel Ibañez
  90. The Latino Advantage in the Workplace by Mariela Dabbah and Arturo Poiré
  91. Dream Big by Deborah Rosado Shaw
  92. Youth, Identity, Power: The Chicano Movement by Carlos Munoz Jr.
  93. Mean by Myriam Gurba
  94. Presumed Incompetent: The Intersections of Race and Class for Women in Academia by Gabriella Gutiérrez y Muhs, Yolanda Flores Niemann, and Carmen G. González
  95. Enrique’s Journey: The Story of a Boy’s Dangerous Odyssey to Reunite with his Mother by Sonia Nazarrio
  96. A Passion for Politics (Mission Bells) by Anita Perez Ferguson
  97. Latinos in American Society: Families and Communities in Transition by Dr. Ruth Enid Zambrana
  98. Journey to the Future: A Roadmap for Success for Youth by Ltc. Consuelo Castillo Kickbusch
  99. Homeless my Choice by Roy Juarez Jr.
  100. The Story of Latinos and Education in American History by Dr. Abdín Noboa-Ríos
  101. A Long Petal of the Sea by Isabel Allende
  102. The Deepest Roots: Finding Food and Community on a Pacific Northwest Island by Kathleen Alcalá
  103. Más Allá de la Justicia by Maria de lourdes Victoria
  104. The Likeability Trap: How to Break Free and Succeed as You Are by Alicia Menendez
  105. Ready, Set, Manifest!: A Handbook for the In-betweens and Leaps in Life by Debbie Lacey
  106. Hurdles in the Dark by Elvira K. Gonzalez
  107. In the Shadow of the Mountain: A Memoir of Courage by Silvia Vasquez-Lavado
  108. Through the Dark by Yolanda Nava
  109. Thriving in the Fight: A Survival Manual for Latinas on the Front Lines of Change by Denise Padin Collazo
  110. Justice & Space Matter in a Strong, Unified Latino Community by Kathy Bussert-Web, Maria Eugenia Diaz, Krystal A Yanez
  111. Breaking Ground and Barriers: Hispanic Women Developing Effective Leadership by Gloria Bonilla-Santiago, Ph.D.
  112. Latinization and the Latino Leader: How to Value, Develop, and Advance Latino Professionals by Cristina Benitez & Marlene Gonzalez
  113. Latino and Latina Leaders of the 21st Century: Ordinary Beginnings, Extraordinary Outcomes by Kay (Kayla) S. Garcia
  114. Latina Empowerment Through Leadership: Mindful Stories from Inspiring Women by Catherine Munoz-Garces, Monica Rivera, Lizza Monet Morales, Celia Garcia, Veronica Corona, Maggie Antillon Mathews, Roxana Damas, and Jennifer Ibarra
  115. The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self Care by Anna Borges
  116. Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader by Hermina Ibarra
  117. You Don’t Have to Like Me: Essays on Growing Up, Speaking Out, and Finding Feminism by Alida Nugent
  118. Children of the Land: A Memoir by Marcelo Hernandez Castillo
  119. Wealth Warrior: 8 Steps for Communities of Color to Conquer the Stock Market by Linda Garcia
  120. Solito: A Memoir by Javier Zamora
  121. Living Beyond Borders: Growing Up Mexican in America by Margarita Longoria
  122. Chinoga: Owning Your Inner Badass for Healing and Justice by Alma Zaragoza-Petty

View all of our leadership book lists here.

How to Respond to LinkedIn Spam 

LinkedIn has been a game-changer for me, opening doors to countless professional opportunities and connections, and allowing me to trade ideas and resources with my network. But let’s be honest, with its vast user base comes an inevitable downside: the relentless wave of LinkedIn spam. From eager sales pitches to random connection requests, I’ve seen it all. If you’re active on LinkedIn, chances are that you’ve experienced this as well. Over time, I’ve developed some strategies to handle these with grace and poise. Here’s my personal guide to managing unsolicited, spammy requests and messages on LinkedIn. 

  1. Ignore the request: Ever received a connection request without any message? I get them all the time. If they didn’t take a moment to introduce themselves or give a reason for why they’d like to connect, I usually move on without feeling guilty. 
  2. Give a clear response to requests accompanied by messages: When a message accompanies a request, I give it a read. If it’s genuine, I’m all ears. Or if they’d like to connect to grow their network, I might say yes because it’s not hurting anyone and I’ve gained a connection.  
  3. Practice reciprocity: I occasionally get requests to follow someone’s page. If it resonates with my interests, I’m on board. But networking is about mutual growth, right? So I’ll usually ask them to follow my company page in return. 
  4. Respond with a question:  Sometimes, I’m curious. Why did they reach out? Asking, “What about my profile stood out to you?” not only satisfies my curiosity but also helps me understand my online presence better. Oftentimes when I ask questions, they don’t respond at all. 
  5. Be direct about the sales pitch: If they’re giving you an offer that straight up sales pitch be direct about if you’re interested or not. It’s ok to politely decline. And while I”m at it, I might suggest they check out my company page. Who knows, they might find something they like or there could be an opportunity for us to connect in the future. To their sales pitch, you can say something like “No thank you. By the way, would you consider following my company page?” 
  6. Get clarity on their ask: Some messages are just… vague. I often get messages like “I have a podcast where I interview the best leaders” or “This service I offer has benefitted companies similar to yours”, without a clear proposition. In such cases, I ask outright “Are you asking me to be on your podcast?” or “Are you asking me to buy your service?”. It’s surprising how many times I don’t get a response. 
  7. Use it as an opportunity for mutual growth: If someone is keen on offering a service, I suggest a mutual learning call. We spend time understanding each other’s services. It’s less about purchasing and more about learning. Most of the time, people ignore the request, but I still feel good about responding in this way. In the few times people have said yes, I’ve gotten to learn about their services and industry and they ask me questions about mine, which has helped me get better at selling. 

​​LinkedIn is a treasure trove of opportunities, but it’s essential to sift through the noise. With these strategies, I’ve managed to turn potential distractions into meaningful interactions. And who knows? The next random message might just be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for.

Entrepreneurial Success: 10 Essential Skills in Business

Entrepreneurship is a dynamic journey, one that demands constant learning and an insatiable curiosity. In this ever-evolving landscape, there’s so much we don’t know, and the key to success lies in recognizing this and seeking knowledge relentlessly. As an entrepreneur myself, I’ve navigated through these challenges and have identified ten pivotal skills that have shaped my journey. Let’s delve into them.

  1. Manage your money.You need to know how to handle your money. If you’ve struggled with personal finances in the past, now is the time to learn. Understanding debits and credits, how money flows in and out of your business, is essential. I know someone who used to use their credit card to withdraw cash all the time, not realizing the implications. After dedicating time to learn about business finances, she transformed her financial habits and is now a boss with her money.  
  1. Learn how to read spreadsheets. Business is about money and that is tracked in spreadsheets. You need to get comfortable with spreadsheets. There are many free resources. You can check out organizations like SCORE and Business Impact Northwest to get started. I  can’t tell you how many times I made a near catastrophic mistake with my calculations and knowing how to read my spreadsheet saved me.  
  1. Listen to understand. You have to do a lot of listening as an entrepreneur–to your customers, employees, and partners. Listen to their needs, their concerns, their dreams and aspirations. Understand them.
  1. Ask questions, even when you think you know. Even if you believe you have the answer, ask for clarity, because it’s not about the answer itself. It’s about the perspective that it reveals. At CuriosityBased, we’ve crafted a learning experience centered on asking questions to clarify, underscoring the importance of this skill. I might think I know an answer, but not from that person’s perspective. I might be right about what they want, but wrong about why they want it. Understanding the “why” is often more important than the “what”. 
  1. Connect the dots (be strategic) When you’re able to listen and ask questions, you’ll build your capacity to connect the dots and be strategic. You’ll be scrapping together limited resources. For example, when I was running my Vietnamese newspaper, I heard from other community newspapers that they were struggling and from organizations who had a hard time reaching out to our communities. I was able to connect the dots.
  1. Share your story and your why. A lot of people want to start their own businesses and they lack the courage. When you tell your story, you’re including them in your journey and you’re inspiring them. It can be super hard to talk about yourself. It might even feel like you’re bragging. You need to get clear about your “why”. I often tell people the only reason I left the best job I ever had was so I could get to own my work and have freedom, which is a big part of my identity as a Vietnamese refugee.
  1. Share your expertise. This can be hard to do, but show off what you know. You might feel like a show off. You might worry that if you share this, then people will steal all your secrets. In most cases, though, your customers will pay you to do this work for them. They will rarely use it to do the work themselves. Don’t worry about sharing your expertise. Also, what is obvious to you is not obvious to other people. 
  1. Ask for business. This is super hard. I have to give myself a little pep talk every time I do it. “Let me know if I can provide you with any services or help your team.” Swallow your pride and do it. 
  1. Delegate/outsource some of your work. There is endless work for an entrepreneur to do. You have to know what to outsource. I don’t create agendas for internal meetings. I don’t look for tech solutions or do video editing. I delegate and outsource, so I can focus on what gives me energy.
  1. Repress your inner critic. You will have so many doubts. I call my doubting voice “Insecure Julie”. You have to learn to shut that person down so that you can move forward. It’s a skill to know the difference between your gut warning you not to do something and your inner critic telling you you’re not good enough to do something. You’ve got to differentiate the two. 

Embarking on the entrepreneurial journey is both challenging and rewarding. By honing these skills and continuously seeking knowledge, you pave the way for success. Remember, it’s about the journey, the continuous learning, and most importantly, believing in yourself.

Self Facilitate or Hire a Facilitator? 10 Questions to Guide Your Decision

Deciding whether to self-facilitate a meeting or hire a professional facilitator is a crucial decision that can impact the effectiveness of your meeting. This guide will walk you through 10 key questions to consider before making your decision.

These questions are based on the assumption that you have a budget allocated for hiring a facilitator, but are uncertain if it is the best way to utilize your funds. If you do not have a budget specifically for hiring an external facilitator, you could consider requesting someone affiliated with the organization to volunteer their services, or perhaps offer their services in exchange for other services.

Self Facilitate or Hire a Facilitator? 10 Key Questions 

Understanding the Meeting Requirements

  1. What kind of meeting is this? 

Is this an information gathering session? Or a nuanced discussion that needs the skill of a facilitator? If it’s a simple information gathering session, self-facilitation might be sufficient. However, if the discussion involves nuances and requires skilled facilitation to navigate, it’s important to assess whether there is someone in-house capable of managing this.

Evaluating the In-house Facilitator

  1. Is there someone on your team who is good at facilitating and willing to do it? 

Assess the skills and willingness of your team members. Being good at facilitation is one thing, but the person also needs to be willing to take on the role.

  1. If you’re considering using someone in-house to facilitate, is that the best use of that person’s time? 

Consider the other responsibilities and tasks of the potential in-house facilitator. Will facilitating the meeting take them away from other important work?

  1. If you’re considering asking someone in-house to facilitate, how will it benefit them and/or hurt them? 

Consider the potential benefits, such as skill development and leadership growth, against potential drawbacks, such as added stress or workload.

  1. If you’re considering using someone in-house to facilitate, how important would it be to get that person’s opinion in the conversation? 

If the potential in-house facilitator has valuable insights to contribute to the discussion, it might be more beneficial for them to participate as a team member rather than as a facilitator.

Considering Neutrality and Impartiality

  1. Do you have someone in-house who is perceived as neutral? 

If not, it might be best to hire an outside facilitator who is perceived to be neutral. Neutrality is important for managing group dynamics and facilitating difficult conversations.

  1. If you’re considering using someone in-house to facilitate, how realistic is it that the person can stay impartial to the topic? 

Impartiality is key to effective facilitation. If there is a concern that the in-house facilitator might not be able to stay impartial, it might be better to hire an outside facilitator.

Weighing the Costs and Benefits

  1. What can you learn from hiring an outside facilitator that you can use to build up the capacity on your own team?

Hiring an outside facilitator can provide valuable insights and skills that can be used to build up the capacity of your own team.

  1. Does your facilitator need to have specialized knowledge? 

If so, it might be best to get the in-house or make sure that you hire someone who’s an outsider who has specialized knowledge.

  1. Considering all of the above, is this a good use of your budget? 

Weigh the costs and benefits of hiring a facilitator versus self-facilitating. Consider the impact on the effectiveness of the meeting, the development of your team, and the overall success of your organization.

Considering these questions will help you make an informed decision about whether to self-facilitate or hire a professional facilitator. Remember, the goal is to have the most effective meeting possible, so choose the option that best suits your needs and budget.

In-Person or Online Retreat? Key Questions to Guide Your Decision

In the modern business landscape, the decision between in-person or online staff retreats and workshops is more relevant than ever. Whether you’re a small business owner, a corporate leader, or a team manager, understanding the advantages and disadvantages of different facilitation methods is essential. Let’s explore the pros and cons of online, in-person, and hybrid retreats and workshops.

Questions for Consideration

Before diving into the specifics, ask yourself these crucial questions to better understand your needs: 

1️. What is the main purpose of the retreat or workshop? Is it to connect on a personal level, create a detailed work plan, or brainstorm innovative ideas? 

2️. What unique activities or exercises can you conduct in-person that might be challenging or impossible online? Conversely, are there virtual tools or methods that can’t be replicated in a physical setting? 

3️. What does your budget allow for? Consider costs related to travel, venue, technology, and facilitation. 

4. How do you envision attendance and participation? Would an in-person event lead to higher engagement, or would an online format allow for broader participation?

With these questions in mind, let’s explore the pros and cons of online, in-person, and hybrid retreats and workshops.

Online Retreats and Workshops: The Future of Collaboration

Pros:

  • Cost-Effective: Save on travel and venue expenses.
  • Global Reach: Include team members from all over the world.
  • High Capacity: More attendees without space constraints.
  • Record & Replay: Record sessions for future reference.
  • Efficiency: Less transition time between activities.
  • Engagement Tools: Utilize chat, polling, games, and more.
  • Inclusivity: Ideal for those who prefer not to speak aloud.
  • Accessibility: Enhanced tools for viewing slides and presentations.
  • Quick Grouping: Faster to assign participants to breakout sessions.

Cons:

  • Limited Physical Interaction: Some exercises may not be feasible.
  • Distractions: Easier for attendees to multitask.
  • Tech Challenges: Varying proficiency and potential tech issues.
  • Engagement Design: Requires careful planning for virtual participation.
  • Audience Dynamics: Larger groups may limit individual interaction.
  • Expertise Needed: A facilitator skilled in virtual environments is essential.

In-Person Retreats and Workshops: The Human Touch

Pros:

  • Physical Activities: Enables hands-on exercises and activities.
  • Human Connection: Opportunities for small talk and bonding.
  • Mood Gauge: Easier to sense the audience’s feelings.
  • Adaptability: Quick adjustments to the flow and structure.
  • Tangible Tools: Whiteboarding and sticky exercises are more straightforward.

Cons:

  • Space Limitations: Venue size dictates participant count.
  • Higher Costs: Venue, travel, and accommodation expenses.
  • Travel Constraints: Potential challenges for distant team members.
  • Environmental Concerns: Travel may not be eco-friendly.
  • Health Risks: Potential exposure to illnesses.

Hybrid Retreats and Workshops: A Balanced Approach

Pros:

  • Inclusivity: Combines online and offline participation.
  • Accessibility: Meets diverse needs of participants.

Cons:

  • Isolation Risk: Remote participants may feel left out.
  • Additional Costs: Requires extra tech or facilitation.
  • Varied Experience: Can lead to inconsistent participant experiences.

Conclusion

Choosing the right format for your staff retreats and workshops requires a thoughtful analysis of your team’s needs, budget, and goals. By weighing the pros and cons of each method, you can make the right decision that fosters collaboration, creativity, and connection within your organization.

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Curiosity: More Than Just a Trait, It’s a Practice

Curiosity – we often think of it as something innate, a trait you’re either born with or without. But what if I told you curiosity is more like meditation, a practice that can be honed and developed? Join me as we dive into the extraordinary world of curiosity, exploring how it can be cultivated, challenged, and used to enrich every aspect of our lives.

3 Situations to Practice Curiosity

  1. Learning Something New: When I explore new subjects and ideas, curiosity guides me to understand different perspectives and trying new things, even when I’m outside my comfort zone.
  2. Not Having Expectations Met: Life has taught me that things don’t always go as planned. When this happens, practicing curiosity helps me be open to things I didn’t expect. 
  3. Disagreeing with Someone: I’ve found that disagreements can be hard, but they are also opportunities to learn. By practicing curiosity, I’ve been able to listen deeply and wholly, build relationships and foster clear communication.

Two Essential Questions I Ask Myself

In my journey of practicing curiosity, I’ve come to realize that two questions consistently guide my thinking and interactions. These questions are foundational principles that shape my approach to learning, communication, and relationship-building.

  1. Do I want them to learn from me? Do I want them to be open to changing their mind to what I have to say?
  • This question challenges me to consider my intentions in a conversation or debate. Am I seeking to impose my views, or am I genuinely interested in fostering understanding? It reminds me that true dialogue requires openness and a willingness to influence and be influenced.
  1. Am I willing to learn from them? Am I open to possibly changing my mind based on what they have to say?
  • This second question is a mirror to the first, turning the focus inward. It prompts me to reflect on my own openness and willingness to learn from others. Am I entering a conversation with a fixed mindset, or am I prepared to grow and change my views based on new insights?

Why These Questions Matter

These questions are more than just rhetorical; they are tools for self-awareness and growth. They encourage me to:

  • Embrace Humility: Recognizing that I don’t have all the answers and that others may offer valuable perspectives.
  • Foster Genuine Dialogue: Creating a space where ideas can be shared and explored without judgment or defensiveness.
  • Cultivate Empathy: Understanding others’ viewpoints, even if I disagree, and finding common ground.
  • Enhance Learning: Opening myself to new ideas and allowing them to challenge and enrich my thinking.

By continually asking myself these questions, I’ve been able to deepen my practice of curiosity, engage more meaningfully with others, and enhance my personal and professional relationships. They are a compass that guides me towards a more thoughtful, empathetic, and curious way of living.

3 Elements I Focus on When Practicing Curiosity

  1. Self-awareness: Understanding my feelings, thoughts, and patterns has been the first step towards cultivating curiosity.
  2. Relationship Building: Connecting with others and letting them get curious about me has fostered a sense of community and shared learning.
  3. Clear Communication: Listening to understand, asking questions when I don’t understand, and sharing my own specific examples and stories.  Asking questions with curiosity and listening actively has helped me explore new ideas and understand different viewpoints.

Conclusion

Practicing curiosity is not just a skill; it’s a way of life for me. It’s about being open to change, exploring new ideas, and building relationships. I also admit that there are times when I don’t practice curiosity because it can be so difficult and my emotions get in the way.  I hope my insights into practicing curiosity can be a guide to anyone looking to enhance their personal and professional life.

Promote Professional Development in the Workplace: 7 Free Strategies! 

7 Free Professional Development Strategies for the Workplace

In the quest to foster growth and improve productivity, many companies overlook the power of professional development. Yet, offering opportunities to learn and grow benefits both employees and organizations. Below are seven free, but highly effective, strategies to promote professional development in the workplace.

1. In-House Knowledge Sharing

Leverage the expertise within your team. By encouraging employees to share knowledge during lunch-and-learn sessions or internal workshops, you not only create a culture of continuous learning but also give employees leadership opportunities. For instance, a session on basic Excel skills can dramatically boost efficiency for those unfamiliar with the tool.

2. Knowledge Exchanges

Create a platform where employees can share favorite tech hacks and productivity tips. At CuriosityBased, we recently held a session where one employee demonstrated how to use mail merge and “snooze” in email, while another showcased the benefits of using ChatGPT. Consequently, these peer-led exchanges can lead to surprising improvements in efficiency.

3. Practice Time

Allocate dedicated time for employees to practice new skills together. For example, after an elevator pitch training session, the following meeting could be devoted to practicing in front of colleagues. As a result, this simple strategy can lead to major improvements in public speaking and confidence.

4. Mentoring Programs

Establish mentoring programs within your company. When employees are paired intentionally, both the mentor and mentee benefit. Furthermore, consider reverse mentoring, where junior employees coach senior staff on emerging trends or technologies. Recognition for participants reinforces the value of the program.

5. Lending Library

Set up a lending library where employees can share professional development books, articles, and resources they’ve found useful. This trust-based system encourages collaboration and, over time, contributes to meaningful professional growth.

6. Pro Bono Coaching

Many individuals pursuing executive or leadership coaching certifications must complete pro bono hours. By connecting with them, your employees can access professional coaching at no cost. This approach creates a win-win: coaches gain experience, while employees receive valuable guidance.

7. Volunteer Experts

Invite volunteer experts to speak and share their knowledge. For instance, we once hosted a Toastmasters champion who offered practical tips on delivering an effective elevator pitch. Such sessions provide fresh perspectives and can inspire employees to elevate their skills.

Professional development doesn’t have to strain budgets. With creativity and intentionality, these seven free strategies can cultivate learning, build stronger teams, and significantly improve workplace productivity. By embracing these approaches, organizations show commitment to growth and demonstrate curiosity in action.

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Practicing Curiosity: How to Ask Questions at Work Without Fear

8 Common Fears That Stop People From Asking Questions at Work

Many people struggle with practicing curiosity, especially when it comes to asking questions in the workplace. Leaders need to understand what prevents employees from asking before they can foster a culture of curiosity. Often, it is fear. Employees hesitate to ask clarifying questions like “What does that acronym mean?”, “Could you explain why we’re taking this approach?”, or “What do you mean by that?” because of how they worry others will perceive them.

Based on insights from hundreds of workshop participants and audience members, I’ve identified eight common fears that stop people from asking questions at work—and how to reframe them safely.

1. Fear of Appearing Inattentive or Unprepared

  • Concern: People worry that their lack of knowledge suggests they weren’t listening or didn’t prepare.
  • Reframe: “I apologize if this was addressed earlier and I missed it. Could you please clarify (insert question)?”

2. Fear of Being Perceived as a Time-Waster

  • Concern: Employees fear that asking questions will slow down the meeting or disrupt the flow.
  • Reframe: “Could you please explain what (insert question) means? I want to ensure I fully understand.”

3. Fear of Appearing Incompetent

  • Concern: People worry that admitting they don’t know something will make others doubt their ability.
  • Reframe: “I know I should probably know this, but I’m still not clear. Could you please explain (insert question)?”

4. Fear of Reflecting Poorly on a Manager or Team

  • Concern: Employees fear that admitting uncertainty will make their manager or team look unprepared.
  • Reframe: “My team and I had a productive conversation on this. I’d like to ask a clarifying question: (insert question).”

5. Fear of Sounding Confrontational

  • Concern: People worry their question will come across as a challenge, especially to authority figures.
  • Reframe: “I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. Please don’t take this as a challenge. (Insert question).”

6. Fear of Appearing Passive

  • Concern: Employees believe others expect them to state opinions, not ask questions. They worry questions make them look indirect.
  • Reframe: “I’m still processing this matter. Could you clarify (insert question)?”

7. Fear of Seeming Indecisive

  • Concern: Asking questions may make people worry they’ll be seen as unable to make decisions.
  • Reframe: “I need more information before making a decision. Could you explain (insert question)?”

8. Fear of Discouragement From Past Experiences

  • Concern: Employees may have asked many questions before and felt discouraged. That hesitation lingers.
  • Reframe: “I know I ask a lot of questions, so please let me know if you’d prefer me to save this for later. (Insert question).”

Final Thoughts

Curiosity thrives in environments where questions are welcomed, not dismissed. By recognizing these fears and reframing your approach, you can ask with confidence, gain clarity, and strengthen workplace communication.

Which of these fears do you recognize in yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments. If this post helped you, please pass it along to a friend or share it on social media.

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You can read the complete version of this article on my LinkedIn newsletter.

Professional Networking Strategies: Three Approaches for Engaging Conversations

When engaging in professional networking, you may encounter conversations that seem boring. Here are three professional networking strategies you can use to make the conversation more engaging and beneficial.

Learn about their field/industry (Build basic knowledge)

Start by gaining basic knowledge about their field or industry. Treat the person as a subject matter expert and a personal tutor on the topic. Ask questions like: What does your work entail? What’s the business model? Who are the different players in your field? What does an average day of work look like for you? Don’t hesitate to ask for explanations of any acronyms they use.

Learn about their opinion of their field/industry (Build your understanding of different perspectives)

Dive deeper into their opinions and perspectives related to their work. This approach helps you develop a broader understanding of the topic. Make comparisons to check your understanding. For example, you could ask: Is having a personal wealth manager like having a general contractor who finds subcontractors for you, while managing your investments with online brokerages is more like shopping online and reading reviews yourself? This approach allows you to expand your knowledge and seek clarification on specific aspects.

Learn why they care about their field/industry (Understand their motivations)

Explore the personal motivations behind their work. This approach is useful when you genuinely want to understand their perspective or when you are not particularly interested in the topic itself. Ask questions like: How did you get into wealth management? Have you always been interested in money? What makes you stay in this field? What are some of your favorite customer success stories? Understanding what underlies someone’s passion and motivation might be more interesting than the work itself.

During the conversation, try to refer to your own experiences or opinions on related matters. This may prompt them to ask you follow-up questions. If they don’t, continue asking questions to gain useful knowledge from the conversation. People generally enjoy talking about their passions, so by showing interest in their field and making them feel good about themselves, you leave a favorable impression.

Regarding which approach you naturally gravitate towards, it depends on your personal preferences and the specific situation. Some individuals may find themselves naturally inclined towards one approach over the others. However, it’s beneficial to be adaptable and use a combination of these approaches based on the context and the person you are engaging with.

Watch the Explainer Video

Which of these professional networking approaches do you think that you naturally gravitate towards? If this post was helpful, please share it with a friend or post it on social media. You can also check out these tips on how to make networking less stressful or these on how to grow your professional network.

How to Grow Your Professional Network in 3 Steps

Building a strong professional network is crucial for career advancement and business growth. In this article, I will discuss two important categories of people to grow your professional network: peer mentors and referral partners. 

Peer mentors are individuals with specific knowledge or expertise who can coach you, while you have different knowledge or expertise to offer in return. 

Referral partners are valuable for sales roles and entrepreneurship, as they help each other find opportunities and expand their networks.

To increase your peer mentors and referral partners, follow these three steps:

  1. Identify the people you want to connect with:

Consider individuals whom you believe you can add value to, and who can add value to you based on your own definition of “value.” You can connect with people through introductions from friends, engagement on social media, or virtual networking spaces such as breakout rooms. When approached to pitch a service, respond by suggesting a conversation to learn about each other’s offerings and potential customers, offering mutual advice.

  1. Reach out:

This step is critical to expanding your network. If you’re good at starting conversations, make sure to follow up and pursue them actively. If reaching out with a cold call, take action rather than just planning. Use email or LinkedIn to send messages, including the following templates:

Peer mentoring:

“We met through this group/at this event, and I appreciated your insights on (fill in the blank). As you are an expert in (fill in the blank), I was wondering if I could seek your advice. I would be happy to share my expertise on (fill in the blank) and address any questions you may have. If you’re interested, let’s schedule a virtual meeting where we can help each other out.”

Referral partner call:

“While there are many things I do, there are also many things I don’t do. I always strive to be a resource for my clients, even if I’m not the solution provider. Would you be interested in a 30-minute call to learn about each other’s businesses and explore potential client referrals?”

Always include a scheduling tool to facilitate the next steps, as some recipients may immediately schedule the session.

  1. Get what you need out of the call:

Don’t hesitate to be clear about your expectations regarding time and value sharing. If someone agrees to a call focused on sharing leads, they expect this arrangement. Clearly define the agenda for the call. After a brief introduction, divide the remaining time to address each person’s needs. Peer coaching calls can be 30-60 minutes, while referral partner calls can be 20-30 minutes. Stick to the intentions you expressed in your outreach message.

During the call, feel free to ask for what you need without hesitation. Use peer coaching calls for role-playing difficult conversations, getting feedback on presentations, or conducting user tests. Referral partner calls should primarily focus on understanding each other’s businesses and potential client referrals.

By following these steps and maintaining clear expectations, you can make the most out of your connections and build a strong network of peer mentors and referral partners.

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Are you inspired to expand your network now?  If this post was helpful, please share it with a friend or post it on social media. You can also check out these professional networking strategies to make any conversation more engaging.

Daisy Jones & the Six: Lessons on Love, Respect & Learning (Spoilers)

I don’t watch many shows and I don’t own a TV, so I surprised myself with how obsessed I became with Amazon Prime’s new series, “Daisy Jones and the Six.” The show depicts the rise and fall of a fictional rock band that achieved great fame in the 1970s.

I found myself re-watching episodes, searching for interviews with the actors, and even reading the original book by Taylor Jenkins Reid, on which the series is based. I decided to explore why I became so engrossed, embracing curiosity.

Here’s what watching Daisy Jones taught me about love, respect, and learning. Please note that this discussion contains spoilers, including the ending. If you haven’t seen the series yet, you may want to pause here and watch it first.

Lessons on Love

The show demonstrates that people are capable of loving multiple individuals simultaneously. It’s not about loving someone more or less, but rather about loving them differently because they resonate with different aspects of who we are. The central plot revolves around the love triangle between Daisy Jones, Billy Dunn (the two lead singers), and Billy’s wife, Camlia. While some fans may interpret this differently, I firmly believe that Billy loves both women equally, albeit in different ways. They each connect with different parts of his complex self.

Lessons on Respect

To make the best choices for themselves, individuals must possess self-respect. I particularly appreciated the portrayal in the Amazon Prime version compared to the book. In the book, Camilla tells Daisy to stay away, and Daisy complies. However, in the show, Camilla tells Billy that he must choose whether to remain in their relationship or not. This act demonstrates self-respect. Camilla doesn’t approach Daisy with a possessive stance. Similarly, Daisy respects herself by realizing that she can’t simply stay in the band, hoping for a romantic relationship with Billy. She understands that she needs to leave the band, enter rehab, and regain control of her own life. Her decision is not influenced by Camilla’s request, as depicted in the book. Billy also exhibits self-respect by striving to be a faithful partner and father, contrary to his own father’s behavior. He understands the importance of making difficult choices to align with the best version of himself. As they all respect themselves and set boundaries, they are able to pursue their own best lives.

Lessons on Lifelong Learning

The series teaches us that it’s never too late to learn something new, regardless of our age. The actors Sam Clafin and Riley Keough learned how to sing and perform as a band in just a year and a half, and they excel at it! They even became the first fictionalized band to reach number one on the Billboard charts. The behind-the-scenes story of the show’s production has inspired me to contemplate my own potential for learning. It’s impressive that all the actors are singing and playing their instruments, without the use of voiceovers. The music is undeniably catchy.

Watch the Video Version

If you’ve watched the series, I’d love to hear if you agree with any of my observations. Which of these three lessons resonates with you the most? If you found this post helpful, please consider sharing it with a friend or on social media.

How to Respond to Constructive Feedback

It’s natural to feel defensive or hurt when getting negative or constructive feedback. I know I feel that way. A common mistake I see people make about getting feedback is that they think they automatically had to change or react immediately. We all benefit from taking some time to think about the feedback given to us because it is just one person’s opinion, not a universal truth. Knowing how to respond to constructive feedback takes practice. Here are three different stages that will help you practice how to respond to constructive feedback.

First stage– how to respond when you’re getting the constructive feedback:

  1. Thank the person for the feedback.
  1. Ask clarifying questions, such as the behavior they’re giving you feedback on. Be careful not to sound defensive when you are asking these clarifying questions that you were not being defensive. You are truly trying to understand what they saw. Sometimes people can’t give you examples, and that is telling their feedback might be very subjective. For example, they may say “you’re rude” and they can’t think of any examples of things you’ve said. If you don’t think you can stop yourself from getting defensive, skip to the next step.
  1. Let them know you need some time to process their feedback. We often assume that we have to react right away and I think that’s wrong. We all need some time to process hard news, so give yourself permission to take that time. It will also benefit them because when you respond to them, you will be more calm and have processed what they said.

Second stage, process the constructive feedback by yourself: 

  1. Remind yourself that negative feedback isn’t a personal attack.
  1. Ask yourself why you do what you’re being criticized for–is there a purpose?

When you’re processing, it could also be helpful to think about why you do that thing that you do. Perhaps you grew up in a family that was very blunt and direct. You can explain this, not as a way to get them to excuse you, but as a way for them to understand you more. For example, “I grew up in a family that spoke very directly to one another and I guess that has been carried over in how I present myself at work. I will think about making adjustments and I also want you to understand this is where I am familiar and comfortable with.”

  1. Talk to other people about the feedback you received and ask for different interpretations. It’s natural for different people to have different interpretations and reactions to your behavior, which is why it’s important not to let one person’s opinion sway everything. I remember one person was told she was too blunt by a few coworkers, and then she was told by other coworkers she was too indirect and not blunt enough. 
  2. Decide if you want to take it or leave it and/or just adjust your behavior with the person giving you that feedback. Remember, this is just one person’s opinion.

Third stage- closing the feedback loop:

After you’ve taken the time to process, then go back to the person and see if you can talk about it. This is the third stage and closes the loop.

Watch the Video Explainer

Which of these strategies resonates with you? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments section. If this was helpful, please share it with a friend or post it on social media.

5 Tricks to Make Networking Events Less Stressful

5 Strategies to Reduce Stress at Networking Events

Even though I attend many networking events, they still make me nervous. Over time, I’ve found a few strategies that help me feel less stressed and more intentional. Here are five tricks to make networking events less stressful. These tips are ones I use myself, and they can help you approach networking with confidence.

1. Set a Realistic Goal

Don’t expect to make ten new friends at one event. That goal will likely leave you disappointed. Instead, I aim to meet one to three people I’d genuinely like to follow up with. This shift helps me focus on building quality relationships, not just chatting with as many people as possible.

2. Pretend You’re a Journalist

If talking about yourself feels intimidating, flip the script. Ask people questions, just as a journalist would. Most people enjoy sharing their stories. By approaching conversations this way, you’ll not only ease your nerves but also walk away with interesting insights.

3. Bring a Buddy

Invite a friend to attend the event with you. Agree to approach people together so that you both engage in conversations. The key is not to hide in the corner and only talk to each other. Having a buddy makes networking less intimidating, especially when you feel awkward standing alone.

4. Treat Conversations as Practice

Think of networking as practice, not performance. Each interaction is a chance to test new stories, jokes, or even your elevator pitch. Go in seeking feedback and accept whatever you get. With this mindset, every conversation becomes an opportunity to improve.

5. Remember You’re Not Alone

You may think you’re the only one feeling stressed, but that’s rarely true. Many people get anxious at networking events. Some are just better at hiding it. Keeping this in mind makes the experience less isolating.

Networking doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. By setting realistic goals, asking questions, and shifting your perspective, you can reduce stress and build stronger connections.

Watch the Video Explainer

Which of these strategies resonates with you? Share your thoughts in the comments. If you found this helpful, pass it along to a friend or share it on social media.

How to Say “No” to a Friend or Acquaintance

How do you say “no” to a friend or acquaintance when they ask you for help? It can be really hard to ask for help, even from your friends. When someone asks me for help, I’m thinking about how difficult it must’ve been for them to ask for help. I naturally want to say yes not because I want to do the thing but because I want to reward them for having the courage to ask for help. Even though you’re compassionate, it doesn’t mean you have to say yes. I think this leads to more people who say yes than they should.

It’s important to recognize the way we say no to our coworkers will be different from the way that we say no to our friends or acquaintances.

Here are 8 tips for saying “no” to your a friend’s or acquaintance’s request:

  1. Try to understand the request.

    Take the time to ask questions. At least making the effort to consider the request. When you ask questions about their ask, you may find out they actually need something else or you may be able to think of another solution.

  2. If you need more time or information, tell them when you can give them an answer by.

    Think about how you feel when you ask someone for help over email or text message and they don’t respond. Do you get worried about how they might be thinking about you? I’ve experienced times where friends have totally ignored me when I’ve asked for help and I was left worrying about how my request made them feel. So when you need more time to think about something, it’s important to just respond to say that. You could say, “I’ll let you know at the end of the week if I can do it.”

  3. If the request is easy to understand and for you it’s a clear-cut “no,” respond as soon as you can.

    They might be worried and wondering how you’re feeling about their request. If you can’t do it, just let them know the sooner the better. A lot of people, if they don’t want to say yes, or if they can’t say yes, then they just don’t say anything at all. I think if you know it’s something you can’t do, just say that immediately. It’s better than dragging it out.

  4. Say “no“ and offer an alternative solution.

    “I can’t do that, however, I can do this.” I’ve been asked to attend fundraising events and to make cash donations. Instead, I have offered to donate my services so they can auction them off. When you asked questions about their request, you may have come up with alternative solutions, so share them. You do want to be helpful, even if you’re not the one who can directly help them.

  5. Share why you need to say no and what your priorities are.

    It could be helpful for the person to understand why you were saying no. This doesn’t require a long, apologetic explanation. In fact, the shorter the better. I’ve shared “It’s really difficult for me to meet up in person, so I will have to say no.” or “I won’t be able to make a donation because my priority giving areas are this and this” or “All of my resources are dedicated to my family right now.” 

  6. Don’t give them hope if this is something you’ll never do.

    Think about if this is something you’d ever be willing to do or not. For example, some people have asked me to pet sit and I know I will never pet sit. In this case, I just let them know I have no experience with pets and I would not be a good candidate for pet sitting.

  7. Welcome them to ask you again if you do want to be asked.

    Sometimes you have to say no because you’re not available to help them out. If that’s the case, you can let them  know by saying “I can’t help this time, please do ask again though.” It lets them know that even though you can’t do it now, it lets them know they can still ask you again in the future. 

  8. Wish them good luck.

    Even if you can’t help them and you don’t know anyone who can, wish them some luck so they can get the help they need. 

If you can say no to your friends and acquaintances more easily, then you will be practicing setting your boundaries and limiting how many things you do out of a self imposed sense of obligation versus out of true desire.

Which of these strategies resonates with you? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments section. If this was helpful, please share it with a friend or post it on social media.

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How to Say No Professionally to Your Boss or Co-worker

“How can I say no to extra work from my boss or colleague professionally and without making enemies?”

We’ve all been in situations where a coworker or our manager or even our manager’s manager has asked us for help to do something that we don’t want to do or that we don’t have the capacity to do. It could be very difficult considering the power dynamics. It’s important to recognize that the way we say no to our friends/acquaintances will be different from the way that we say no at work.

The first stage is to demonstrate that you’re trying to understand and consider their request with these four steps:

1. Paraphrase the request to confirm understanding.

You could say something like “just to make sure I understand your request, is this what you’re saying…?” You may even find out what you think they’re asking for is different from what they think they’re asking for.

2. Try to determine if you’re the only one who can do it the extra work.

Determine if there’s someone else on the team who could help you with the extra work. You may feel you are deflecting on work if you do that, but think of it as you are sharing the responsibility and opportunity for exposure. Perhaps your coworker hadn’t thought about asking certain people because they just don’t have as much exposure to them. There’s an opportunity for you to play “connect the dots” and you can say “I think so-and-so can help you.” 

3. Try to understand if their deadline is fixed or flexible.

If you’re willing to do it, yet you need more time, try to see if you can negotiate the deadline. Sometimes people feel more urgency than is actually needed. Try to understand what they’re thinking about by determining this deadline.

4. If you need time to process and let them know when you’ll get back to them.

People often just want to hear a response, whether that is in the affirmative or negative. Yet so often, if we can’t respond in the affirmative, we don’t even respond in the negative. You will earn a lot of goodwill if you respond as soon as possible and offer when you can get back to them.

In the second stage, decide if you still want to say no. If you still want to say no after you have discussed the request, take these five steps to say no professionally:

1. Share what you have to give up doing if you fulfill their request.

Oftentimes when people are asking for help, they don’t think about what you might have to give up in order for you to accommodate the request. You just have to tell them.

2. Ask them what they think you should give up or delay to fulfill their request.

After you tell them what you’re working on, you can turn the question onto them and ask what they think you should give up. This also signals you do have to give something up in order to fulfill their request and it will make them rethink their request. Sometimes people make requests that are not thought out because they just want to get some relief.

3. Share alternative solutions to get their needs addressed.

You may know other people or resources in the department that they don’t know about and  they could actually use to fulfill their request. Even if you just say “you may want to check with so-and-so, you will start to be seen as helpful.

4. If the request makes you uncomfortable, say that.

If you’re not sure how to explain why, just say, “I don’t know why, I just don’t feel comfortable doing this.” There could be so many different reasons for why you don’t want to say yes to this request. If it makes you uncomfortable, share that. 

5. Reinforce your desire to be helpful and that you want to focus on doing your current job/task well.

You want to end the conversation on a positive note. Let them know you do want to be helpful, and yet there’s just so much other work, and no relief in sight, so you have to say no.

Watch the Video Explainer

Which of these strategies on how to say no professionally resonates with you? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments section. If this was helpful, please share it with a friend or post it on social media.

150 Leadership Books Written by LGBTQ+ Authors (2023)

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We created this list to promote leadership narratives written by the LGBTQ+ community. This list is meant to be a resource, not an official endorsement. The books are not ranked or listed in any particular order.

Check out our other leadership book lists by authors who identify as LGBTQIA+, AANHPI, Native American, women, and those who identify as having disabilities.

  1. The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin
  2. Entrepreneurial You: Monetize Your Expertise, Create Multiple Income Streams, and Thrive by Dorie Clark
  3. Seriously…I’m Kidding by Ellen Degeneres
  4. Shut Up, I’m Talking!: Coming Out in Hollywood and Making It to the Middle by Jason Stuart
  5. All In: An Autobiography by Billie Jean King
  6. An Archive of Hope: Harvey Milk’s Speeches and Writings by Harvey Milk
  7. Rainbow Warrior: My Life in Color by Gilbert Baker
  8. The Normal Heart by Larry Kramer
  9. Freddie Mercury: A Life, In His Own Words by Freddie Mercury
  10. GuRu by RuPaul
  11. The Rainbow Comes and Goes: A Mother and Son on Life, Love, and Loss by Anderson Cooper & his mom Gloria Vanderbilt
  12. Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More by Janet Mock
  13. Untamed by Glennon Doyle
  14. Punch Me Up to the Gods: A Memoir by Brian Broome
  15. Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing: Essays by Lauren Hough
  16. Pride Leadership: Strategies for the LGBTQ+ Leader to be the King or Queen of Their Jungle by Steven Yacovelli
  17. Fit to Serve: Reflections on a Secret Life, Private Struggle, and Public Battle to Become the First Openly Gay U.S. Ambassador by James C. Hormel & Erin Martin
  18. Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre Lorde
  19. In Defense of Our America: The Fight for Civil Liberties in the Age of Terror by Anthony D. Romero
  20. Beautiful on the Outside: A Memoir by Adam Rippon
  21. Tim Cook: The Genius Who Took Apple to the Next Level by Leander Kahney
  22. The Path Forward: Rethinking Federal Marijuana Policy by Rep. Earl Blumenauer and Rep. Jared Polis
  23. Forever Young: The Story of Troye Sivan by Alana Wulff
  24. The Man Without a Face: The Unlikely Rise of Vladimir Putin by Masha Gessen
  25. Surviving Autocracy by Masha Gessen
  26. Raf Simons by Sunny Chanday
  27. Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay
  28. Everybody’s Got Something by Robin Roberts & Veronica Chambers
  29. Dear White People by Justin Simien
  30. Michael Kors by Sunny Chanday
  31. This is the Fire: What I Say to My Friends About Racism by Don Lemon
  32. Binge by Tyler Oakley
  33. Tom Ford by Tom Ford
  34. On the Other Side of Freedom: The Case for Hope by DeRay Mckesson
  35. Blood, Bones, & Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef by Gabrielle Hamilton
  36. White Girls by Hilton Als
  37. Oh Myyy!: There Goes the Internet by George Takei
  38. They Called Us Enemy: Expanded Edition by George Takei
  39. The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom: Practical and Spiritual Steps to You Can Stop Worrying by Suze Orman
  40. Zero to One: Notes on Startups, or How to Build the Future by Peter Thiel & Blake Masters
  41. Trust: America’s Best Chance by Pete Buttigieg
  42. Shortest Way Home: One Mayor’s Challenge and a Model for America’s Future by Pete Buttigieg
  43. Nothing Personal by James Baldwin
  44. Revelations: The Autobiography of Alvin Ailey by Alvin Ailey & A. Peter Bailey
  45. In the Shadow of the Eagle: A Tribal Representative in Maine by Donna M. Loring
  46. Me by Ricky Martin
  47. And a Voice to Sing With: A Memoir by Joan Baez
  48. The Holly Woodlawn Story: A Low Life in High Heels by Holly Woodlawn
  49. The Gloria Anzaldúa Reader (Latin America Otherwise) by Gloria Anzaldúa
  50. I’m the One That I Want by Margaret Cho
  51. WOLFPACK: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game by Abby Wambach
  52. A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf
  53. Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds edited by Adrienne Maree Brown
  54. We Will Not Cancel Us edited by Adrienne Maree Brown
  55. Love and Rage by Lama Rod Owens
  56. I Hope We Choose Love: A Trans Girl’s Notes from the End of the World by Kai Cheng Thom
  57. Martina by Martina Navratilova
  58. Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good edited by Adrienne Maree Brown
  59. Octavia’s Brood: Science Fiction from Social Justice Movements edited by Adrienne Maree Brown
  60. How to Get Stupid White Men Out of Office: The Anti-Politics, Un-Boring Guide to Power edited by Adrienne Maree Brown
  61. The Children of Harvey Milk: How LGBTQ Politicians Changed the World by Andrew Reynolds
  62. Representation Matters: How Victory Fund, Victory Institute, and LGBT Leaders are Transforming America by Karen Ocamb
  63. Serving in Silence by Margarethe Cammermeyer
  64. Frank: A Life in Politics from the Great Society to Same-Sex Marriage by Barney Frank
  65. Pressure is a Privilege: Lessons I’ve Learned from Life and the Battle of the Sexes by Billie Jean King
  66. Gunn’s Golden Rules: Life’s Little Lessons for Making it Work by Tim Gunn
  67. Queer Eye: Love Yourself, Love Your Life by Antoni Porowski, Tan France, Jonathan Van Ness, Bobby Berk & Karamo Brown
  68. My Story of Embracing Purpose, Healing, and Hope by Karamo Brown
  69. Naturally Tan by Tan France
  70. Over The Top by Jonathan Van Ness
  71. 71. One Life by Megan Rapinoe & Emma Brockes
  72. It’s About Damn Time by Arlan Hamilton
  73. Inclusion: Diversity, the New Workplace, & The Will to Change by Jennifer Brown
  74. Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story by Jacob Tobia
  75. Borderlands/ La Frontera: The New Mestiza by Gloria Anzaldúa
  76. Ma and Me: A Memoir by Putsata Reang
  77. In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens: Womanist prose by Alice Walker
  78. Eat, Pray, Love: One woman’s search for everything across Italy, India, and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert
  79. Truth or Dare: Encounters with power, authority, and mystery by Starhawk
  80. Stand Out: How to find your breakthrough idea and build a following around it by Dorie Clark
  81. Feeling Power: Emotions and education by Megan Boler
  82. And Now We Are Going to Have a Party by Nichola Griffith
  83. Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me by Ellen Forney
  84. All Boys Aren’t Blue: A Memoir-Manifesto by George M. Johnson
  85. Fairest: A Memoir by Meredith Talusan
  86. Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons by John Paul Brammer
  87. Long Live the Tribe of Fatherless Girls: A Memoir by T Kira Madden
  88. People Change by Vivek Shraya
  89. I’m Afraid of Men by Vivek Shraya
  90. We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir by Samra Habib
  91. Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family by Garrard Conley
  92. Surpassing Certainty: What My Twenties Taught Me by Janet Mock
  93. Warrior Princess: A US Navy SEAL’s Journey to Coming Out Transgender by Kristen Beck & Anne Speckhard
  94. Virtually Human by Martine Rothblatt, PhD
  95. Zami: A New Spelling of My Name: A Biomythography by Audre Lorde
  96. I Can’t Date Jesus: Love, Sex, Family, Race, and Other Reasons I’ve Put My Faith in Beyonce by Michael Arceneaux
  97. I Don’t Want to Die Poor: Essays by Michael Arceneaux
  98. Unapologetic: A Black, Queer, and Feminist Mandate by Charlene Carruthers
  99. The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on Power of Identity by Andrew Gelwicks
  100. The G Quotient: Why Gay Executives are Excelling as Leaders… and What Every Manager Needs to Know by Kirk Snyder
  101. Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us by Kate Bornstein
  102. No Ashes in the Fire: Coming of Age Black & Free in America by Darnell L Moore
  103. All The Things She Said: Everything I Know About Modern Lesbian and Bi Culture by Daisy Jones
  104. The Queering of Corporate America by Carlos A. Ball
  105. Inclusive 360: Proven Solutions for an Equitable Organization by Bernadette Smith
  106. My Greatest Save by Brianna Scurry 
  107. In My Skin by Brittney Griner
  108. Fun Home by Alison Bechdel 
  109. Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self by Rae McDaniel
  110. The Educator’s Guide to LGBT+ Inclusion: A Practical Resource for K-12 Teachers, Administrators, and School Support Staff by Kryss Shane
  111. Creating an LGBT+ Inclusive Workplace: The Practical Resource Guide for Business Leaders by Kryss Shane
  112. The Glass Closet: Why Coming Out is Good for Business by John Browne
  113. Straight Jacket: Overcoming Society’s Legacy of Gay Shame by Matthew Todd
  114. Stonewall: The Definitive Story of the LGBTQ Rights Uprising that Changed America by Martin Duberman
  115. Trailblazer: Lighting the Path for Transgender Equality in Corporate America by Mary Ann Horton
  116. A Burst of Light: and Other Essays by Audre Lorde
  117. Banned from California: – Jim Foshee – Persecution, Redemption, Liberation… and the Gay Civil Rights Movement by Robert C. Steele
  118. Body Becoming: A Path to Our Liberation by Robyn Henderson-Espinoza
  119. In Transit: Being Non-Binary in a World of Dichotomies by Dianne. E. Anderson
  120. We Are Everywhere: Protest, Power, and Pride in the History of Queer Liberation by Matthew Reimer
  121. Pageboy: A Memoir by Elliot Page
  122. Diary of a Misfit: A Memoir and a Mystery by Casey Parks
  123. A Place for Us: A Memoir by Brandon J. Wolf
  124. The Lie: A Memoir of Two Marriages, Catfishing & Coming Out by William Dameron
  125. You’re That Bitch: & Other Cute Lessons About Being Unapologetically Yourself by Bretman Rock
  126. The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I’ve Had): A Memoir by Sophie Santos
  127. Black Boy Out of Time by Hari Ziyad
  128. This Time for Me: A Memoir by Alexandra Billings
  129. Ten Steps to Nanette: A Memoir Situation by Hannah Gadsby
  130. All Down Darkness Wide: A Memoir by Sean Hewitt
  131. In the Dream House: A Memoir by Carmen Maria Machado
  132. The Best Strangers in the World: Stories from a Life Spent Listening by Ari Shapiro
  133. Deaf Utopia: A Memoir – and a Love Letter to a Way of Life by Nyle DiMarco
  134. We Can Be Heroes: A Survivor’s Story by Paul Burston
  135. Horse Barbie: A Memoir by Geena Rocero
  136. Baggage: Tales from a Fully Packed Life by Alan Cumming
  137. A Queer History of the United States by Michael Bronski
  138. The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World by Alan Downs, PhD
  139. Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown
  140. The Male Gazed: On Hunks, Heartthrobs, and What Pop Culture Taught Me About (Desiring) Men by Manuel Betancourt
  141. The Book of Pride: LGBTQ Heroes Who Changed the World by Mason Funk
  142. Lesbian Love Story: A Memoir in Archives by Amelia Possanza
  143. Secret City: The Hidden History of Gay Washington by James Kirchick
  144. Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender by Dr. Kit Heyam
  145. Dear America: Notes of an Undocumented Citizen by Jose Antonio Vargas
  146. Is It Hot in Here (Or Am I Suffering for All Eternity for the Sins I Committed on Earth)? by Zach Zimmerman
  147. The Apartheid of Sex: A Manifesto on the Freedom of Gender by Martine Rothblatt, PhD
  148. Your First Million: Building a Path to Generational Wealth by Arlan Hamilton
  149. Breaking Through: Communicating to Open Minds, Move Hearts, and Change the World by Sally Susman
  150. How We Fight for Our Lives by Saeed Jones

View all of our leadership book lists here.

Revealing the 7 Signs of Passiveness

We often discuss other people’s passivity or passive-aggressive behavior, but we hesitate to acknowledge that we ourselves may exhibit passiveness or conflict avoidance. This is a broad category, so to better understand what we mean by “passive,” I have analyzed various actions and behaviors and categorized them into these seven forms of passiveness:

1. Non-response:

When you receive an invitation via email, text, or social media and choose not to respond at all if you can’t accept. Example: Chris emails me an invitation to their social function, but I never respond. This is a form of “non-response.”

2. Non-acknowledgment:

When someone makes a comment that goes unacknowledged, usually because it expresses an unpopular view and people want to avoid conflict. Example: Chris says, “I don’t think that (issue) is so bad,” after others have complained about it. Instead of addressing Chris, people pretend they didn’t hear and change the subject.

3. Not saying what you want to say:

When you have something to say but choose not to express it to avoid seeming aggressive. Example: Chris is playing loud music in an open space, and I’m annoyed, but I don’t say anything.

4. Deflection (the “yes-no”):

This occurs in situations similar to “non-response”, but the invitation is given in person, necessitating an immediate response. To avoid disappointing the other person or creating conflict or awkwardness, the recipient deflects the inquiry by not giving a direct answer. Example: Chris asks, “Do you want to get coffee sometime?” and I respond, “There are some great coffee shops in Seattle.” I neither say “no” nor “yes.”

5. Saying “yes” when you mean “no”:

When you decide to say “yes” even though you don’t mean it, just to avoid hurting the inquirer’s feelings. If the invitation was genuine, this can give false hope and lead to stringing the person along. Example: Chris suggests, “We should get coffee sometime,” and I respond, “Yes, let’s get coffee,” even though I have no intention of making time for it.

6. Talking behind someone’s back:

When you have negative feedback for someone but choose not to share it directly with them. Instead, you share it with others, often justifying it as “venting.” You may even feel like you’re being direct because you have voiced your feedback, even though you haven’t communicated it to the person concerned. Example: Chris does something that annoys me, but instead of addressing it directly with Chris, I decide to discuss it with our mutual acquaintances.

7. Ghosting:

When you commit to participating in something with a group of people but later decide you no longer want to be involved. Instead of informing the group, you choose not to respond to their communication or show up, essentially “disappearing” or “ghosting” them. Example: I was volunteering with Chris on a project, but they do something I disagree with. Instead of discussing it with Chris, I choose to “ghost” them.

I hope that by examining these examples, you will realize that we are all guilty of some form of passivity. If this post has been helpful, please share it with a friend or post it on social media.

Watch the Video Explainer

If you are curious about your own passive nature and wondering if it is causing problems in your life, check out this blog post. You can also read my original article on the forms of passiveness here.

Is Your Passive Behavior a Problem?

I often hear from individuals who exhibit what could be perceived as passive behavior, claiming they don’t have the time or energy to address things directly. While that may be true in some cases, I believe it’s not the case for those who spend significant time contemplating the issue at hand. To help people determine whether their passiveness is truly a problem, I’ve devised a formula.

Consider “emotional time” (ET), which refers to the time spent thinking and ruminating about something—a measure of mental energy devoted to the issue. Then there’s “actual time” (AT), which represents the time it would take to change behavior. Actual time encompasses both the time required for action and the time taken to actually act.

To assess the significance of the issue, divide emotional time by actual time. If the quotient exceeds 5X, it suggests that you’re investing far more time and energy in thinking about something than it deserves.

Let’s consider an example: You’re sitting on a bus, and someone opens the window, leaving you shivering.

ET = 80 min (20 min of sitting resentfully in the cold on the bus + 60 min spent recounting the incident to 10 people, emphasizing the audacity of the person not closing the window)

AT = 5 min (thinking of how to politely ask the person to shut the window and actually uttering the words)

ET/AT quotient = 16x

If you value your time and frequently mention being busy, a 16x factor should prompt you to take action.

One important aspect of emotional time is that it can escalate over time. Currently, it might be 80 minutes, but it could increase to 100 minutes. Alternatively, you might only spend 20 minutes dwelling on the incident and never think about it again, resulting in a quotient of 4X, which is not problematic.

I hope this formula assists you in determining whether your passive behavior regarding an issue is indeed a problem or not. If this post was helpful, please share it with a friend or post it on social media.

Watch the Video Explainer

You can read the 7 Signs of Passiveness blog post here as well as my original article on this topic.

Unlock Your Creativity: The Power of Constraints

I fully appreciated how the power of constraints and limitations can unlock creativity when I returned to Seattle to run my family’s newspaper in 2008, the start of the global recession and decline of the newspaper industry. I was forced to be extremely scrappy and entrepreneurial as my parents and I tried to survive these unfortunate circumstances. That experience, though, informed how I approached my work later on. 

Here are 6 tips to help you think about constraints and limitations differently:

1. Accept that you have constraints and limitations so you can unlock creativity.

We might be tempted to dwell on what we don’t have or what we should have. It’s OK to feel upset. It is then that we move on and get to acceptance; that is where we can start the work. 

2. Focus on what you do have, not on what you don’t have.

While there are many things that we don’t have, they’re actually many things that we still have. My favorite story around this is with impressionist painters. A group of painters were painting together, and they realized they didn’t have any more black paint, so they started using violet. Then violet became the new black, the darkest shade. Without the color black, the impressionist paintings look so much more light. Here, they focus on what they did have, which was the color violet.

3. Focus on what you can try and experiment with.

Not having things can also make us experiment more. When we hold our learning experiences (what we call our workshops), we really like to have breakout groups so people can talk with one another. With some of our CuriosityBased clients, they don’t want any interaction with one another so I had to create a sense of interactivity without being able to rely on one of my go-to. We started to experiment with different kinds of polling to quickly get anonymous information from people. We would then show the results of those polls and have the people react to them. This constraint actually led us to improve the polling in our regular learning experiences that do have breakout groups. This limitation helped us improve overall.

4. Be clear about what you actually need to accomplish the work.

Sometimes we’re so used to things we think we need to have that we forget that we actually don’t really need them in order to do the work. For me, for example, I usually have access to a screen to project a PowerPoint slide deck when I am facilitating in-person sessions. So when I was asked to facilitate an outdoor session in a park, I couldn’t use my usual tech. Instead, we printed follow-along packets for people to consult. Turns out I didn’t need a projector after all. 

5. Trade products and services to get what you need.

When I worked at the newspaper, we had a lot of advertisers who had fallen behind on their bills, and also people who wanted to advertise and they just didn’t have the cash. We ended up doing a lot of bartering services like restaurant gift cards and printing services so we could each get what we needed.

6. Ask for help so you can get more resources.

I used to lead volunteer teams in building projects with no resources in a very short time frame. Some teams asked for donations, but I remember one team in particular wanted to organize an event and they ended up getting cupcakes donated, a free space, and volunteers to help. Once they expressed a need for help, people offered more than they had hoped for.

When we frame constraints as a way to force us to do things differently, that is when we discover our inner creativity. Which of these reframes resonates with you? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments section. If this was helpful, please share it with a friend or post it on social media.

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2023 AANHPI Authored Leadership Book List

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In honor of AANHPI Heritage Month, we created this list of books written by AANHPI authors. This list is meant to be a resource, not an official endorsement. The books are not ranked in any particular order.

  1. This Is One Way to Dance by Sejal Shah
  2. My Forgotten Seattle by Ron Chew
  3. Sigh, Gone: A Misfits Memoir of Great Books, Punk Rock, and the Fight to Fit In by Phuc Tran
  4. Crying in H Mart: A Memoir by Michelle Zauner
  5. Living for Change by Grace Boggs
  6. Where the Past Begins: Memory & Imagination by Amy Tan
  7. Fresh Off the Boat: A Memoir by Eddie Huang
  8. The Cooked Seed: A Memoir by Anchee Min
  9. Out of the Gobi: My Story of China & America by Weijian Shan
  10. Love, Loss, and What We Ate: A Memoir by Padma Lakshmi
  11. Mixed Plate: Chronicles of an All-American Combo by Jo Koy
  12. An American Family: A Memoir of Hope & Sacrifice by Khizr Khan
  13. Brotherhood: Dharma, Destiny, and the American Dream by Deepak Chopra & Sanjiv Chopra
  14. Hawaii’s Story by Liliuokalani
  15. Nisei Radicals: The Feminist Poetics and Transformative Ministry of Mitsuye Yamada and Michael Yasutake by Diane C. Fujino
  16. See No Stranger: A Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love by Valarie Kaur
  17. Heart of Fire: An Immigrant Daughter’s Story by Mazie K. Hirono
  18. How to Raise a Feminist Son: Motherhood, Masculinity, and the Making of my Family by Sonora Jha
  19. Empress: The Astonishing Reign of Nur Jahan by Ruby Lal
  20. The Souls of Yellow Folk: Essays by Wesley Yang
  21. Dear Girls: Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets, & Advice for Living Your Best Life by Ali Wong
  22. Fault Lines: A Memoir by Meena Alexander
  23. Eat a Peach: A Memoir by David Chang
  24. Reset: My Fight for Inclusion and Lasting Change by Ellen Pao
  25. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth
  26. The Art of Stillness: Adventures in Going Nowhere (TED Books) by Pico Iyer
  27. The Art of Strategy: A Game Theorist’s Guide to Success in Business and Life by Avinash K. Dixit
  28. The Art of the Start 2.0: The Time-Tested, Battle-Hardened Guide for Anyone Starting Anything by Guy Kawasaki
  29. The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams by Deepak Chopra
  30. The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right by Atul Gawande
  31. Limitless: Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, and Unlock Your Exceptional Life by Jim Kwik
  32. Postcolonial Leadership, A: Asian Immigrant Christian Leadership and Its Challenges by Hee An Choi
  33. Enough About Me: The Unexpected Power of Selflessness by Richard Lui
  34. Legal Heroes in the Trump Era: Be Inspired, Expand Your Impact, Change the World by Tahima Watson
  35. Hit Refresh: The Quest to Rediscover Microsoft’s Soul and Imagine a Better Future for Everyone by Satya Nadella
  36. All In by Jerry Yang
  37. Radical: Fighting to Put Students First by Michelle Rhee
  38. My Life in Full: Work, Family, and Our Future by Indra Nooyi
  39. Unprecedented: The Masters and Me by Tiger Woods
  40. Delivering Happiness by Tony Hsieh
  41. Be Water, My Friend: The Teachings of Bruce Lee by Sharon Lee
  42. Unsung Hero: The Col. Young O. Kim Story by Woo Sung Han
  43. You’re More Powerful Than You Think: A Citizen’s Guide to Making Change Happen by Eric Liu
  44. Holding Serve: Preserving on and Off the Court by Michael Chang
  45. Great Asian Americans: Michelle Kwan by Stephanie Cham
  46. Great Asian Americans: Ellison Onizuka by Stephanie Cham
  47. Great Asian Americans: Tammy Duckworth by Stephanie Cham
  48. Great Asian Americans: Patsy Mink by Stephanie Cham
  49. Great Asian Americans: Yo-Yo Ma by Stephanie Cham
  50. To The Stars: The Autobiography of George Takei by George Takei
  51. Big Little Man: In Search of My Asian Self by Alex Tizon
  52. I love a Broad Margin to My Life by Maxine Hong Kingston
  53. Dat: Tackling Life and the NFL by Dat Nguyen
  54. Courage: The Backbone of Leadership by Gus Lee and Diane Elliott-Lee
  55. Madame Wu Chien-shiung: The First lady of Physics Research by Tsai-chien Chiang
  56. It Takes Moxie by Maureen Francisco
  57. Finding the Edge: My Life On The Ice by Karen Chen
  58. Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not! by Robert T. Kiyosaki
  59. Still Life with Rice by Helie Lee
  60. I’m the One That I Want by Margaret Cho
  61. When Invisible Children Sing by Chi Cheng Huang
  62. Creating the Digital Future: The Secrets of Consistent Innovation at Intel by Albert T.c. Yu
  63. Boundaries by Maya Lin
  64. The War on Normal People by Andrew Yang
  65. Blue Ocean Strategy: How to Create Uncontested Market Space and Make the Competition Irrelevant by W. Chan Kim
  66. Leadership and Crisis by Bobby Jindal
  67. Enduring Conviction: Fred Korematsu and His Quest for Justice by Lorraine K. Bannai
  68. A Principled Stand: The Story of Hirabayashi v. United States by Gordon K. Hirabayashi
  69. Growing Up Brown: Memoirs of a Filipino American by Peter M. Jamero
  70. The Silent Master: Awakening the Power Within by Tae Yun Kim
  71. The Black Widow’s Guide to Killer Pool: Become the Player to Beat by Jeanette Lee
  72. My Forty Years as a Diplomat by Feng-Shan Ho
  73. You Can’t Be Serious by Kal Penn
  74. Behind Deep Blue: Building the Computer that Defeated the World Chess Champion by Feng-Hsiung Hsu
  75. Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty…And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, & Unapologetically Being Yourself by Dr. Aziz Gazupura
  76. The Truths We Hold: An American Journey by Kamala Harris
  77. Impressive First Impressions: A Guide to the Most Important 30 Seconds (And 30 Years) of Your Career by Vu H. Pham
  78. With Schwarzkopf: Life Lessons of the Bear by Gus Lee
  79. Purpose Mindset by Akhtar Badshah
  80. You Are A Mogul: How to Do the Impossible, Do It Yourself, and Do it Now by Tiffany Pham
  81. The Diversity Advantage: Fixing Gender Inequality in the Workplace by Ruchika Tulshyan
  82. Shorter: Work Better, Smarter, and Less – Here’s How by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang
  83. Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning by Cathy Park Hong
  84. Come into My Office: Stories from an HR Leader in Silicon Valley by Mai Ton
  85. AugmentAsian: Strategies and Tools for Asian Pacific American Professional & Leadership Success by Asian Upward & Elevate Teams
  86. Edge: Turning Adversity Into Advantage by Laura Huang
  87. American Dreamer: How I Escaped Communist Vietnam and Built a Successful Life in America by Tim Tran
  88. Glue: How Project Leaders Create Cohesive, Engaged, High-Performing Teams by Anh Dao Pham
  89. Thick Face, Black Heart: The Warrior Philosophy for Conquering The Challenges of Business and Life by Chin-Ning Chu
  90. Uplifted: Journeys of Abundance, Community, and Identity by Geena Chen
  91. Sheer Determination: Swimming Upstream in a Downstream World by Kay Hire
  92. Reflections of Seattle’s Chinese Americans: The First 100 Years by Ron Chew
  93. Show Your Worth: 8 Intentional Strategies for Women to Emerge as Leaders at Work by Shelmina Babai Abri
  94. Inclusion on Purpose: An Intersectional Approach to Create a Culture of Belonging at Work by Ruchika Tulshyan
  95. Invitation to Lead: Guidance for Emerging Asian American Leaders by Paul Tokunaga
  96. The Making of Asian America: A History by Erika Lee
  97. World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments by Aime Nezhukamatahil
  98. The Visibility Mindset: How Asian American Leaders Create Opportunities and Push Past Barriers by Bernice M Chao & Jessalin Lam
  99. This is Not a T-Shirt: A Brand, A Culture, A Community – A Life in Streetwear by Bobby Hundreds
  100. It’s Always Sunny Above the Clouds: Getting the Next Generation Into the Cockpit by Nick Tran
  101. Journey for Justice: The Life of Larry Itliong by Dawn B. Mabalon, PhD & Gayle Romas 
  102. Lions and Tigers and Bears: The Internet Strikes Back (Oh Myyy!) by George Takei
  103. Every Day is a Gift: A Memoir by Tammy Duckworth
  104. Fierce and Fearless: Patsy Takemoto Mink, First Woman of Color in Congress by Judy Tzu-hun Wu & Gwendolyn Mink
  105. The Next American Revolution: Sustainable Activism for the Twenty-First Century by Grace Lee Boggs
  106. 7 Forms of Respect: A Guide to Transforming Your Communication and Relationships at Work by Julie Pham, PhD
  107. The Death of Truth: Notes on Falsehoods in the Age of Trump by Michiko Kakutani
  108. The Woman Warrior: Memoirs of a Girlhood Among Ghosts by Maxine Hong Kingston
  109. America for Americans: A History of Xenophobia in the United States by Erika Lee
  110. Somewhere Inside: One Sister’s Captivity In North Korea and the Other’s Fight to Bring Her Home by Laura Ling & Lisa Ling
  111. Power Your Purpose: A Leader’s Guide to Creating a Better Life and a Better World by Shian Chuan 
  112. The Asian American Achievement Paradox by Jennifer Lee & Min Zhou 
  113. I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For: Now What? 21 Days to Confidence and Clarity by Dr. Sweta Chawla 
  114. Energize: Make the Most of Every Moment by Simon Alexander Ong 
  115. The Art of Gathering: How We Come Together and Why it Matters by Priya Parker 
  116. Breaking the Bamboo Ceiling: Career Strategies for Asians by Jane Hyun 
  117. Perfect Enough: How to Be Happier and More Productive by Letting Go of Perfectionism by Judy t. Dang
  118. The Wake Up: Closing the Gap Between Good Intentions and Real Change by Michelle MiJung Kim 
  119. The Loneliest Americans by Jay Caspian Kang 
  120. Why Not Me? By Mindy Kaling
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  122. The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down by Haemin Sunim 
  123. Love For Imperfect Things: How to Accept Yourself in a World Striving for Perfectionism by Haemin Sunim 
  124. Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande
  125. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
  126. Bitter Fruit: The Politics of Korean-Black Conflict in New York City by Claire Jean Kim 
  127. Racial Melancholia, Racial Dissociation: On the Social and Psychic Lives of Asian Americans by David Eng 
  128. Authentic Inclusion: Drives Disruptive Innovation by Frances West
  129. Innovation Starts with I: Increase Your Influence. Ignite Your Impact. By Saleema Vellani
  130. Talk it Up! A Guide to Successful Public Speaking by Mr. David Suk Brown
  131. Conquering the Chaos by Ravi Venkatesan 
  132. Women Who Lead: Timeless Life, Career, and Business Secrets from Inspiring Women Around the World by Dr. Izdihar Jamil PhD
  133. The Confidence of Yes: How to Harness the Energy of Opportunity by Dr. Izdihar Jamil, PhD
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  135. Woman on Top: The Art of Smashing Stereotypes and Breaking All the Rules by Loretta Chen
  136. Ma and Me by Putsata Reang
  137. Asian Women Trailblazers Who BossUp: Amazing women finding success and never looking back (Women Who BossUp) by Tam Luc, Daphne Kwok, Katie Chin, Sue Ann Hong, Jeanie Chang, Susan Go, Leslie Lew, Amy Le, Amy Wayng, Janan, Sarwar, Julie Tran, Cary Kwok, Claudi Chan, Sandy Kusano, Sabrina Li, Mihae Kim Stefani
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  139. Yes I Can!: 22 Success Secrets From Inspiring People Around the World Dr. Izdihar Jamil, PhD
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  141. You Cannot Resist Me When My Hair is In Braids by Frances Kai-Hwa Wang
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  144. We Were Dreamers: An Immigrant Superhero Origin Story by Simu Liu
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  147. You Can’t Be Serious by Kal Penn
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  151. Money Makers: The Easiest Way to Build A Business WITHOUT Paid Ads Or a Big Following by Dr. Izidihar Jamil, PhD
  152. It Is Done: 15 Secrets to Manifest Your Dream Life From Inspiring Entrepreneurs by Dr. Izdihar Jamil, PhD
  153. 13 Key Strategies to Make Money Fast in Business by Dr. Izdihar Jamil, PhD
  154. Yes I Can!: 5 Minute Guided Goal Setting Journal to Help You Hit Your Goals by Dr. Izdihar Jamil, PhD
  155. She Made It Happen by Dr. Izdihar Jamil, PhD
  156. Yes I Can!: 16 Success Secrets From Inspiring Women Around the World by Dr. Izdihar Jamil, PhD
  157. Heroes, Leaders and Legends – With Oprah & Jack Canfield by Dr. Izdihar Jamil, PhD
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  170. The Magical Language of Others: A Memoir by E.J. Koh
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  173. Fatty Fatty Boom Bomm by Rabia Cuadry
  174. Asian American Histories of the United States by Catherine Ceniza Choy
  175. Like Water: A Cultural History of Bruce Lee by Daryl Joji Maeda
  176. Ma and Me: A Memoir by Putsata Reang
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  178. In Sensorium: Notes for My People by Tanaïs
  179. Love Your Asian Body: AIDS Activism in Los Angeles by Eric C. Wat
  180. Rise: A Pop History of Asian American from the Nineties to Now by Jeff Yang, Phil Yu, Philip Wang
  181. Wake Up: Closing the Gap Between Good Intentions and Real Change by Michelle Mijung Kim
  182. Falling Back in Love With Being Human: Letters to Lost Souls by Kai Cheng Thom
  183. The Karma of Success: Spiritual Strategies to Free Your Inner Genius by Liz Tran
  184. Mott Street: A Chinese American Family’s Story of Exclusion and Homecoming by Ava Chin
  185. Novelist as a Vocation by Haruki Murakami 
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  188. My Money My Way: Taking Back Control of Your Financial Life by Kumiko Love
  189. Brave, Not Perfect: Celebrating Imperfection Helps You Live Your Best, Most Joyful Life by Reshma Saujani
  190. How to Speak Machine: Computational Thinking for the Rest of Us by John Maeda
  191. The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks At You by Julie Zhuo
  192. Brotopia: Breaking Up the Boys’ Club of Silicon Valley by Emily Chang

How to Become the Boss of Your Own Life

So much of what I learned about being the boss of my own life was from watching my parents, who founded the first privately-owned Vietnamese newspaper in the Pacific Northwest.

Here are 5 lessons I learned that can help you become the boss of your own life

Lesson 1: Love doing the work as much, if not more, than the product of the work itself.

We spend so much of our time doing the work. So, it’s really important that you enjoy the process and not just the outcome. I hear from some people that they are so relieved when the work is done and they dread starting to work again. That’s a bad sign. I am certain my father preferred the days preparing the newspaper more than the day the newspaper came out because by then, he was already thinking of the next issue. As for me, I started my own business so I could focus my energy on writing. I love the process of turning my original content into learning experiences.

Lesson 2: Choose who you work with, don’t do things alone.

This is easier to do when you are an entrepreneur versus when you are an employee. Working with people you collaborate well with can make a huge difference in terms of your effectiveness and feeling a sense of control over your life. For those of you who are entrepreneurs, remember, you get to choose. If you’re a manager and you have team members who you don’t think are a good fit, don’t feel guilty about letting them go. Even when you are an employee, be intentional about who you collaborate with. From the get-go, I knew I would work with a team (even if that meant paying them out of my own pocket). I knew that working with team members would enrich whatever I do. Even if you’re a solopreneur, you can choose your partners who help you serve your clients. Having collaborators keeps me accountable. I know we are working together on a shared purpose vs if I was working alone.

Lesson 3: With ups come downs, so be prepared to absorb the bumps financially.

A bad economic downturn can make you feel you’re really out of control. One way to prepare for possible downturns is by saving money. My experience of running the newspaper with my family during the 2008-2010 recession forever instilled in me a frugality that I carried even when I was an employee at well-resourced organizations. This enabled me to have the savings that gave me the financial freedom to invest in my own business. Save during the good times so you can weather the bad times. That approach helped me tolerate my significant losses in my second year of business. It also allows me to remain conservative despite significant gains as I enter my third year.

Lesson 4: Appreciate the value of freedom, and recognize the emotional cost of being micromanaged.

When I told my father I was going to leave my executive job at a remarkable nonprofit to start my own company in the middle of a pandemic, I was worried he would disapprove. Instead, he said, “I’m so happy for you. By having your own business, you are in control and you will have freedom.” I feel that now that I have my own company. Working for micromanagers in the past took a costly emotional toll on my confidence and sense of self-worth. So if you have a bad client, remember you can choose not to take their money. When you’re an employee, work for those who trust you and give you the freedom to do your job. 

Lesson 5: Ask for help, so you can be in control of what kind of help you get.

At the start of my business, I had some people offer to help me by introducing me to free work for their team. That was their idea of helping me, but it wasn’t what I needed. I learned to be very specific about the kind of referrals to potential clients I’d like to get and I even provided an introduction text to help people help me. When you’re the one asking, you can be more specific. Otherwise, you may just take what people offer to you instead of what you need.

Which of these lessons resonates with you the most to help you become the boss of your own life? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments section. If this was helpful, please share it with a friend or post it on social media.